Plea to the Spider Woman

Coiled up cobalt leather,

Noir wax encrusted string,

Woven tightly about

A slender iron ring.

Pearly plumage push through

The dangling azure beads

Awaiting the nighttime

When it can at last feed.

 

But gluttonous is this

Recourse protection spell,

As night terrors alone

Very little do quell

Its starvation after

Dreamscape image cuisine;

Devouring delusions

Before they can be seen.

 

My thanks dear defender,

Champion of mind ghosts,

Slayer of vile demons

My psyche harmfully hosts.

 

But so desperately

I yearn for fantasy

Please, I beg! Can’t you see?

 

My eager astral plane

Possesses many themes,

Make a meal of my fears,

Just surrender the dreams.

Author's Note

My first attempt at being a bit structured. Six syllables to a line. Let me know what you think!

Reviews

[ImSJ]

To my sight this is, in many parts, obscure. I assume that the poem addresses a "recourse protection spell" whose construction and components are described in the first stanza? When active it is non-discriminating between your night terrors and pleasant dreams? I think I have that right but am unsure. It is an interesting concept which needs to be disciplined to reveal its value. More work will pay dividends, I think.

I applaud your decision to employ a structured approach. All poetry hinges on structure as well as word choice to convey meaning. Even the conscious decision to not use a formal structure is a structure of sorts. Words without structure are babble. Discipline your words to carry your meaning and no other to the mind of your reader. This is the craft of poetry.

A good start, Ashira. Take it back into the forge and pound on it some more until the blade is sharp and sure.

[Ashira Macy]

You are correct in your assumption. More specifically it is about a dream catcher. That is what the description at the beginning is. I will probably go back and rework it at some point. Thank you for your insightful and honest review, I appreciate it!

[Sami Khalil]

"Dreamscape image cuisine;
Devouring delusions
Before they can be seen."

[Ashira Macy]

Glad you enjoyed those lines. =)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).............

[willweb]

I think this was fantastic especially based on the syllable rule you put upon yourself. That could not have been easy. The poem is wonderful. I really enjoyed this one today.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you kindly Will! So glad you liked it!

[kaptankev]

Interesting... yet the title seems half irrelevant.

[Ashira Macy]

It would to most. It is a salute to the legend of dream catchers in Native American lore.

[Tate Morgan]

We all live in the real world but our minds do not as they imagine all sorts of things I should know I am a kid at heart drug kicking and screaming into adulthood well done.I am one who favors seriously metered poetry

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much my friend, I am glad you enjoyed the meter.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Very creative piece, one talent poetic poem!

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

My pleasure!

[realmwriter]

I think you have done an excellent job of describing that which you wish to harbor no longer. Your psyche purging itself, relenting. I don't know, I'm probably way off the mark but I do know that I enjoyed this one very much.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much Realm, and the wonderful thing about poetry is that it can be taken however the reader decides. =)

[realmwriter]

You are very welcome

[hardeep sabharwal]

last two lines are too good

very creative piece, nice

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much.

[James Alice]

I came for the Jessica Drew, and stayed for the great poem. Absolutely love the last two lines. Great way to end it. :)

[Ashira Macy]

Haha thank you my friend. I am sure you found that this had very little to do with the super hero Spider Woman. I am actually talking about a dream catcher in this and the old legend behind them was that there was a spider woman who would protect children from nightmares by catching them in her web, which is why dream catchers are woven like webs. ;) Glad you enjoyed it!

[Bill O. Writes]

Loved the darker tones in this. It's inspiring how accurately portrayed that side of the mind was here. Outstanding!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Bill!