Speculation of a Raven

Dark poem written in my adolescence.

Darkness.

A journey to my mind would give you complete darkness.

I search my soul and find the same thing,

A void where love, compassion and happiness once rested.

A raven.

Ever an omen of bad news,

Foreboding and malicious.

I see my mind and soul transform into this bird of sorrow.

Tears.

The hateful liquid forms in my eyes and threatens to emerge.

My thoughts cry out to me, “No! Tears show weakness, do not be weak!”

As they stream down my face I am once again left in the darkness, abandoned by thoughts.

Fools.

Friends, family, therapists.

They know everything, yet at the same time… nothing.

Try as they may they cannot hope to understand that which I myself struggle to decipher.

Or perhaps I am the fool to not know why I feel what I feel.

Freedom.

I long for this with every fiber of my being.

There are two roads to freedom, one long, the other short.

Both roads end in death.

To be truly free you must not be tied to the earth.

Death.

The destination of both roads.

Does the short road lead to freedom as well?

I go on asking questions I would have to answer myself.

Darkness,

A raven,

Tears,

Fools,

Freedom

Death.

Author's Note

My 15 year old self was already pretty dark I guess. I am interested in what people take away from this.

Reviews

[RAOrourke]

Yes this is a dark piece but many good writings come from deep raw emotions. 15 year olds are full of emotions that are hard to understand and you captured this beautifully from the inside. It shows the pain and emotion a teen can feel during this time and to be misunderstood at the same time is a sad a painful time. Well done in capture all of this.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this one, I am glad you liked it.

[Rocans]

Did you really write this at 15? This is an impressive articulation of emotion for a 15 year old and even generally. There are some points that stood out for me, like:"To be truly free you must not be tied to the earth." I concur, life in general is a kind of bondage to the human condition and the demands of survival. When you juxtaposed the raven with aspects of your mental state I remembered a poem I wrote some time ago which did the same thing. I guess everyone who ventures into darkness draws from the images of Poe. I liked this one, I think it is well written.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Rocans, I was definitely a dark adolescent. I am glad you enjoyed it and connected with it. I think at the time I wrote this I had just gotten into reading Poe, so he certainly did have some serious influence on this piece.

[Lyn Anderson]

I think adolescence is a rough time for many. It certainly was for me. I wrote very similarly at that age. It is the reason I want to go and tell all teens contemplating suicide that it will get better.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks KL, and I agree it is such a difficult time. It is so important to reach out to them.

[PloughBoy]

Naturally having entered this contest myself, I wanted to see what my competitors had contributed. That is how I came upon your compelling free verse which delves deeply into the minds of one of the greatest poets of all time, at least in my humble opinion.

I was not disappointed in the least.

Although you and I took completely different approaches, I enjoyed this, as if Poe were speaking himself, and was compelled to read it from top to bottom, from Alpha to Omega, if you will.

Subtle and sleek, your poem breaks it down gently, and delivers great impact with its final seven words cascading free fall down the page.

Well done, and best of luck to you! :) ~PB

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much for your eloquent review my friend, I am so glad you enjoyed it! I will be dropping by to look at yours as well!

[PloughBoy]

Thank you, Ashira, you are very kind. The pleasure was entirely mine.

[Lady Glitter]

People who know "everything" often know very little. How can others know about us that which we haven't grasped? When we understand ourselves we project who we really are. Until then, any evaluation is inaccurate. This poem says that darkness can lead to death, and the interference of others sometimes is not useful or appreciated.

[Ashira Macy]

Wonderful analysis, thank you Sandi. And it is very true, it is hard for others to know you if you don't know yourself. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I just read this, right? It was in the stage play...I thought I was experiencing de ja vu...but I stand corrected...its the part of Meredith's letter...

[Ashira Macy]

Absolutely correct. This started out as a poem and was later added to "Guardian Angels" as a monologue for Meredith. It makes sense outside of the play as well, so I kept it separate as well. There are a few minor changes, but it is almost identical.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I wrote "Commanders to Five Star Generals"...in the same concept...its in my first book and in lyrical verse in my Filipino American Dream Series: Shogun...its good you put your mind and heart into this one...

[Ashira Macy]

I'll take a look at that! And yes, it was an intense time in my life.

[Lyan]

It's a dark poem. It makes me think of someone who is experiencing uncertainty, who wants many things but cannot get them because they are tied to too many things and they cannot really change it. Seems are way feed up with all and are struggling between the road of the living and the dead.

[Ashira Macy]

Very astute analysis dear. Another oldie but goodie. I used this in "Guardian Angels" as well to embellish a bit.

[Matching Socks]

What do I take from this?
Well first, let me say that this is well written from 15yr old you.
It's dark for sure. And those are difficult years.
I always think the worst with dark poem because of my own experiences but there's a ray of light somewhere to grab onto.
Really great write.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you, they were painful years, but worth it to get to where I am now. I am so happy you enjoyed it.

[Matching Socks]

There you go... That's looking on the bright side. Good girl. ;)

[Ashira Macy]

Haha yeah, I am a little more optimistic these days. XD

[Matching Socks]

:-). .