Yes this is a dark piece but many good writings come from deep raw emotions. 15 year olds are full of emotions that are hard to understand and you captured this beautifully from the inside. It shows the pain and emotion a teen can feel during this time and to be misunderstood at the same time is a sad a painful time. Well done in capture all of this.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this one, I am glad you liked it.
A powerful journey in the poem.
"Death.
The destination of both roads.
Does the short road lead to freedom as well?
I go on asking questions I would have to answer myself."
I tell people. Death is the final walk. When death is the only hope. Death isn't freedom or proper answer. Just dead-end. Good words create thoughts. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote
Yes this is a dark piece but many good writings come from deep raw emotions. 15 year olds are full of emotions that are hard to understand and you captured this beautifully from the inside. It shows the pain and emotion a teen can feel during this time and to be misunderstood at the same time is a sad a painful time. Well done in capture all of this.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this one, I am glad you liked it.
This is a dark piece, and there is never anything wrong with that. I enjoyed reading, and I promise to read more I'm sorry I've been so busy lately. I love the way you have set the words for the movement, and the ending. It speaks a lot of emotion from insecurity, and troubling demons that haunt us no matter what they are they can always frightening. My two favorite parts are
Tears.
The hateful liquid forms in my eyes and threatens to emerge.
My thoughts cry out to me, “No! Tears show weakness, do not be weak!”
As they stream down my face I am once again left in the darkness, abandoned by thoughts.
Fools.
Friends, family, therapists.
They know everything, yet at the same time… nothing.
Try as they may they cannot hope to understand that which I myself struggle to decipher.
Or perhaps I am the fool to not know why I feel what I feel.
Well done :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
No worries Rachel, we all have lives! I have been on here less than I would prefer lately due to sch.. read moreNo worries Rachel, we all have lives! I have been on here less than I would prefer lately due to school and other obligations. I am so glad you liked this piece though. It is one of my darker ones, and certainly older, but it has remained relevant to me.
I see a troubled, introspective journey of an unsure, confused soul that longs for happiness and purpose... A seeking of answers to life's questions and an end to suffering and tribulations of the soul.. very nice flow and short, concise lines that pack a punch.. emotionally charged and full of heart.. well done ma'am...
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
I thin you are spot on my friend. 15 year old me was on a journey, and 24 year old me is simply furt.. read moreI thin you are spot on my friend. 15 year old me was on a journey, and 24 year old me is simply further along in that journey. So happy you enjoyed it!
I agree with you, others give their opinions as to how we are and yet they are so ignorant of themselves, that we wonder how can they give any advice when they are most than we are and just because they comply with societies' rules does not mean that they are being just with themselves...But they look down on us who seek the truth not only within us, but around us too...
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
People make what they will of us I suppose, there is nothing I can do about it other than live my li.. read morePeople make what they will of us I suppose, there is nothing I can do about it other than live my life. Thank you for reading my friend.
I certainly ciphered overtones of poem "The Raven" by Poe with this intense write. Besides of delineating a fanciful visit to a past lover, you illustrate disconnects between earthliness and self-realization. I admire your determination in remaining wholesome as you choose destiny over demise. Soaring for a higher purpose underneath a syndicate of fools--- Blue-ribbons! I enjoyed this piece.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much for your insight Caleiph, I am so glad you enjoyed this one!
Oh WOW! This is sooo Dark! I loved it! I have a thing about Ravens and the name instatnly popped out at me! to me Ravens have always been good luck (weird right?) But this is just amazing It blew me away! such an amazing Write!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much, I am so happy you enjoyed it. It's not weird that Ravens are good luck to you, we.. read moreThank you so much, I am so happy you enjoyed it. It's not weird that Ravens are good luck to you, we all have different totems and symbols that mean different things to us. =)
Wow this is pretty dark. yet relateable! I enjoyed this one ALOT! I am actaully goign to put this in my library under favorites. thank you for sharing. I know someone who will really Love and apprecaite this poem. May I read request it to them?
Sure thing, I would be honored if you shared it with them. And thank you so much for your kind revie.. read moreSure thing, I would be honored if you shared it with them. And thank you so much for your kind review, I appreciate it!
I am 24 years old and just getting back into writing after not using the skill for a few years, so I am a bit rusty. I am excited to share my new work as well as some old with this community and would.. more..