Green Drift

Watch me drift.

Thoughts beyond the stars

Take me with them,

Distracting my very being.

It takes the pain and vacuum seals it,

Locking the pressure away in airtight packaging.

But it is cellophane, nothing more

And these hopeless star clad thoughts can’t be ignored.

A fire that burns too hot and bright

Can last but only a brief brilliance

Before its warmth settles into

The cold, steely form of Ash.

Reviews

[Lady Glitter]

I like how you describe pain as pressure that is locked away in airtight packaging. Also the description "hopeless star clad thoughts" is clever.

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Sandi, this was one of my first ones after having not written for a few years. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Seems these writes toward the end --- are written back to back...as you deal with a parting in your life...each has that effect in the words...

[Ashira Macy]

Very astute analysis my friend, you are correct, I am dealing with loss in my life right now, and writing is the best outlet I can think of to let my emotions flow.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Better go back to that ocean view of yours...I told you to take a picture...last longer...LOL...

[Ashira Macy]

It would be nice and calming.

[Edward Lancheister]

i hope could see more lines to capture the moment and meaning of the poem.

parable that should be more convey the message to your reader. keep it up

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks again for the review! A lot of my poems tend to be very abstract and ask the reader to come to their own conclusion on its meaning. I'll have to look into being clearer. =)