Pride (Seven Deadly Sins Series)

The deadliest sin.

Very few beings on this earth could boast

Of being blessed with more talents than most;

But I was so special, witty, and smart -

Features sculpted like Athenian art.

 

My smile could part oceans, start and end wars.

Like Helen of Troy, beauty to the core,

My tale is tragic like fair Narcissus

Brought to a close by those who were jealous.

 

As I gazed upon the stagnant water

My image causing balance to totter

Into my own immaculate embrace,

Submerged in my cool and reflective grace.

 

Downward I plunged to the steel gates of hell

Where naught but loathsome, ugly creatures dwell

All desirous of my pure radiance -

Damned me, doomed me, eternally sentenced

 

Neck always garnished with drab slabs of stone

Face buried within the cold soil alone

I wail and yearn for those days long since dead

When I was not forced to bow my vain head.

Author's Note

At long last here is the final entry in my Seven Deadly Sins series: Pride in the form of a Ballad. Pride is supposed to be the worst sin, the one that all of the others sprout out of. Let me know what you think. Comments? Suggestions?

Reviews

[raj24]

pride.....as a sin.. for me is a ladder.. opening your doors towards the fall... a feeling that makes you believe you are superior than anyone around.. forgetting that without success even you were nothing.. in your words i found how people feel jealous of someone and i saw a reflection of our downfall in our own pride... the picture of hell showed what we are heading up to... people find it hard to respect others success but they find it even hard to accept the reasons behind their own failures.. seven deadly sins is a beautiful effort by you to show us the things that truly reflects the evil side of human life... thanks for sharing Ashira :)

Raj

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Raj, I am glad you found connections with this series and enjoyed reading it. It was a lot of fun to write!

[Frieda P]

This is eloquent and beautifully written Ashira, probably your best. I think I'm out of order, in your series I meant, :) but you hit all the hit notes with this one. I don't ever think of pride in that way for some reason, I take pride in my work, in my children, in my friends, it's not boastful in my estimation, it's that which I cherish....bless me father for I have sinned, another one bites the dust. ;)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Frieda, I was hoping this one would turn out well. I was so nervous to write it. I didn't used to think of Pride in this way either, and I am honestly not sure I do even now. I think all of these sins are fine as long as they are not in excess. And you most definitely should feel pride in your work dear.

[shaun36]

Beutiful. you have the most spontaneous imagination and a blessed way of expressing it

[shaun36]

Beutiful. you have the most spontaneous imagination and a blessed way of expressing it

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Shaun, I am so glad you liked it.

[shaun36]

Your welcome.

[Sophy Freebirds]

Pride can make you alone against this whole world.I like this form of poetry with the references to the greek.I am obssessed by their legend.So helen's heart full of pride and Narcissus was doomed as a yellow flower by hades ,. :(.. The ending of the poems in this series are all the same.Cursed to go to hell by deadly sins.. Amazing series.commdndable work dear. ;)

~Sophy

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you darling Sophy! I am so glad you enjoyed this series. I will have to come up with a new one. now. I don't think Helen of Troy was prideful, but she was beautiful and this person fancied herself better than her. Narcissus was however the most famously prideful person in Greek mythology.

[Sophy Freebirds]

She betrayed her husband, ungrateful daft woman!! Well i will be waiting eagerly for something new and tasty :) you're welcome cupcake

[Sophy Freebirds]

She betrayed her husband, ungrateful daft woman!! Well i will be waiting eagerly for something new and tasty :) you're welcome cupcake

[Ashira Macy]

That is very true, she was a little nutters that one!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I think pride might just be the worst....last line fits well but is a little trippy...
but yes, this is a good one...don't think poets have that problem all too often... I think we have very fragile egos...---
we could like our work one day and think it is crap the next...

constantly needing reassurance....you speak for so many in this poem...we don't need to love those kind of people...because the love themselves enough already.

[Ashira Macy]

You couldn't be more dead on. This one was the hardest for me to write because I relate with it the least. And since I was writing them all in first person it made it even more difficult. I am glad it read well though.

[Arrinae]

Well written and read indeed! This piece is very well put together, and I love how in the end she acknowledges her sin. There are many in this world who would never acknowledge it, no matter what they are faced with.

[Ashira Macy]

Very true. She was sentenced to an eternity in hell, so she has a lot of time to think about why she is there I suppose. Lol.

[yuki]

very well done and really well written good job :)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you kindly Yuki!

[yuki]

my pleasure :)