Pride (Seven Deadly Sins Series)

The deadliest sin.

Very few beings on this earth could boast

Of being blessed with more talents than most;

But I was so special, witty, and smart -

Features sculpted like Athenian art.

 

My smile could part oceans, start and end wars.

Like Helen of Troy, beauty to the core,

My tale is tragic like fair Narcissus

Brought to a close by those who were jealous.

 

As I gazed upon the stagnant water

My image causing balance to totter

Into my own immaculate embrace,

Submerged in my cool and reflective grace.

 

Downward I plunged to the steel gates of hell

Where naught but loathsome, ugly creatures dwell

All desirous of my pure radiance -

Damned me, doomed me, eternally sentenced

 

Neck always garnished with drab slabs of stone

Face buried within the cold soil alone

I wail and yearn for those days long since dead

When I was not forced to bow my vain head.

Author's Note

At long last here is the final entry in my Seven Deadly Sins series: Pride in the form of a Ballad. Pride is supposed to be the worst sin, the one that all of the others sprout out of. Let me know what you think. Comments? Suggestions?

Reviews

[raj24]

pride.....as a sin.. for me is a ladder.. opening your doors towards the fall... a feeling that makes you believe you are superior than anyone around.. forgetting that without success even you were nothing.. in your words i found how people feel jealous of someone and i saw a reflection of our downfall in our own pride... the picture of hell showed what we are heading up to... people find it hard to respect others success but they find it even hard to accept the reasons behind their own failures.. seven deadly sins is a beautiful effort by you to show us the things that truly reflects the evil side of human life... thanks for sharing Ashira :)

Raj

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Raj, I am glad you found connections with this series and enjoyed reading it. It was a lot of fun to write!

[Susan Beth Horvath]

This has a wonderful depth and smooth flow. Full of emotion,description and imagery. You have painted such an artistic view from your radiant heart.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Susan I am happy you liked it.

[LunarSong]

I really love the flow of this, and the allusions. It's really great!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much Lunar, it was a fun series to write. =)

[Marie]

I don't think pride is the worst sin--though it is said "By pride angels fell..." Also "Pride goeth before a fall." But pride can be a good thing, as Rita says. Not too little, not too much.

[Ashira Macy]

I agree with you, but I had to stay true to the mythology. Really most of these are alright in moderation, though envy is a little shady in my opinion since it wants to watch others suffer.

[Kringefest]

Very wonderfully penned! Pride can be considered so terrible, but it doesn't hurt to think a tad highly of yourself every once in a while.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you for your words, and very true. Just don't fall in love with your own reflection. =P

[Kringefest]

Oh, of course. (: And no problem.

[Wandering Minstrel]

beautifully conceived and rendered. I especially love your final verse, but all of them are exquisite. Well done

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Minstrel, I am so glad you enjoyed them!

[Matching Socks]

This series has been awesome! Thoroughly enjoyed reading these and you did such a great job with them. :)
Good work. xx

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks Ana, I am so happy you enjoyed them. They were a blast to write!

[Lyan]

Some people have too much pride and some don't have much at all. everything is good in moderation me thinks^_^

[Ashira Macy]

I totally agree. As long as you aren't super vain you are ok!

[uNmAsKeD-dEluSiOns]

The power in this one in is unbelievable. It was so good! You described this perfectly I have no bad critiques! Very well done, it really hit me.

[Ashira Macy]

Aw, thank you Unmasked, I am so happy this one spoke to you!

[A. Amos]

The moment pride hits your head, your downfall starts...as always great write!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you for your words Amos!

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my dear

[Rita L. Sev]

Yes, Pride does indeed "goeth before the fall..." This is a great concept, this series - you give us all something to think about!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Rita, I am glad it inspired thought!