Introduction

So you've managed to get this far...let's see how long that lasts.

No, too corny.

Good morning, afternoon, evening, night...whatever time it may be that you're reading this book, hello.

Too happy.

Alright stupid, listen up-

Yes, insult the reader.  The perfect way to open a book [sarcasm heavily implied].

Once Upon a Time...

F**k it all!  Let's just get straight to the point:

     This book was inspired by a used-to-be friend of mine [we lost contact...in the sense that we just don't care enough to talk anymore] who, during the last year of high school that I attended [I got out early, so it technically wasn't my senior year], was writing a book about herself and a bunch of other people she knew during the Zombie Apocalypse.  She both added me and didn't add me, in the sense that in the beginning of the story I get separated from the rest of the group.  She didn't know what was going to happen yet, but she did know that I would be reunited with them in the future, and that my leaving was just part of a twist in the story, yatta, yatta, yatta - just writer talk, ok?  So then I asked her, "Hey, mind if I write my part?"  And she was on board with that plan.  For a while, her and I discussed things as if we were writing together, but after my leaving the school, we pretty much just stopped talking.  So, I have absolutely no clue what her plans are for her Zombie book, but I can tell you that I would like to write my end whether or not she writes hers.  All in all, if you see another Zombie book on the market that seems to semi-correlate with mine [be that character names, the traits of the Zombies themselves, location, the story itself, etc.], she was the one who came up with the idea first.  Not me - her.
     Something else that's fairly important... This story is gonna have tons of things that people of this day and age [I dunno about the future lolz] look down upon.  There WILL be lots of cursing [wow, I'm shocked (MOAR SARCASM)], sex, gore, and other things that I refuse to reveal as of now because I don't want to give away the twists and turns buried beneath the plot...but if you're worried that you can't handle it, then put the book down.  It'll, hopefully, self-destruct within the next 10 to 15 seconds...or slowly over time as the pages wear out and mice and insects eat at the cover like there's no tomorrow, whatever.
     Lastly, for those unfamiliar with the book Butch is a Noun there are some gender pronouns that I'd like to inform you of.  This is a direct quote from Butch is a Noun on pronouns:

     My theory is that butch is a noun, a gender all its own, something which cannot always be described within the confines of the bigendered pronoun system we have now.  In an attempt to honor butches of whatever sex, whatever pronoun they may personally prefer (and my experience of butches is that they may prefer either, both, these gender-neutral ones, or, in some inventive cases, may have made up their own), I have chosen to use gender-neutral pronouns...  It seems congruent to use language that has the most possibility inherent in it.  Those gender-neutral pronouns are (drumroll, please): ze and hir.  Let's meet them; you'll be spending a lot of time together during the balance of this book.
     Ze, pronounced zee, like the twenty-sixth letter of the alphabet if you speak American English, is used as the subjective pronoun-that is, instead of she or he.  "Ze went to the store," "What kind of shoes is ze wearing?" "Does ze have relatives in Bulgaria?" and so on...
     Hir, pronounced here, is the objective and also the possessive pronoun, and is used in place of the feminine pronoun her or hers, or the masculine pronouns him or his.  "Ask hir for the time, please," "It's hir truck, not mine," "Have you thought about asking hir on a date?"

     Yes, these are gonna be frequently used pronouns in my book too.  I might even mention the book Butch is a Noun within the story; who knows?  Either way, pretend I'm getting paid to advertise this and buy the book Butch is a Noun today - it's a damn good one.
     Wait!  I lied, that wasn't the last thing: Alright, so while her and I were talking about this story, I had a lot of ideas that involved me being in the apocalypse with certain people I no longer associate with [YOU: You mean the ever obscure "her"? ME: Besides her, numbskull], so to those people I'd like to say a little something...

Be a good f*****g sport and don't f**k this up for me.

Alright, now with that out of the way, let's get to introducing the characters, shall we?

NAME: Ashira
CODE-NAME: Vern and/or Verne'k'draa
GENDER: Butch
AGE: 19
APPEARANCE: In the actual book there will be a picture of hir on the opposite page or something, but for now please settle for this link to the picture on my deviantART...which'll be coming soon...ish.
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Whatever the f**k is close enough to be used as hir weapon! [Prefers blades]

NAME: Saide
CODE-NAME: Saide don't need no codename, b***h!
GENDER: Male...mostly
AGE: 25
APPEARANCE: Link coming soon
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Ranged weapons; particularly a crossbow and a sniper rifle

NAME: Cartel
CODE-NAME: Ven and/or Victor
GENDER: Male
AGE: 21
APPEARANCE: I'll get to it...
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Flamethrower


NAME: Kayleigh
CODE-NAME: Allie and/or A'lae'ir
GENDER: Female
AGE: 21
APPEARANCE: ...look, it's coming along ok?
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Anything that has to do with water, ice, or steam is immediately hers; Dry ice fire-hoses and are her particular favorites

NAME:
CODE-NAME:
GENDER:
AGE:
APPEARANCE:
WEAPON OF CHOICE:

Author's Note

Fellow Writer's Cafe readers - that last blank Character Sheet is there for whatever other characters get added in over time. I'll be sure to introduce them all here as the story goes on. P.S. picture used for this thing's icon isn't mine.