Conflicted

Some give it up for the one they love, but most only say the empty words

I listen to that song play again
and it makes me think of you
as much as it hurts to admit that.
It's that one that
tells you to hate me
for everything I've have and haven't done.
In a way, I 'm happy you don't,
but in another, I wish you would.

I imagine you singing this song,
and telling me the same things.
It talks about
how much you'd wish that I'd hate you
for the way you played with me like you did,
and for not treating me like you should.
In a way, I'm happy I don't,
but in another, I wish I could.

I listen to that song play again
and it makes me think of you
as much as it hurts to admit that.
It's the one that
talks about two people in love
and recites the moments we had together.
In a way, I'm happy to remember,
but in another, I wish I couldn't.

I imagine you singing this song,
and remembering the same things.
It talks about
two people in love, and the moments they had,
but you're talking about someone else now.
In a way, I'm happy you are,
but in another, I wish you weren't.

I listen to that song play again
and it makes me think of you
as much as it hurts to admit that.
It's the one that
we used to listen to together when I laid on your chest,
when our heart beats were in sync, when we were at peace...
In a way, I love this song,
but in another, I hate it.

I imagine you singing this song,
and us feeling at peace again.
I could lay on your chest, our heart beats could be in sync,
and we could be one for just a few moments.
In a way, I wish you would,
but in another, I'm glad you won't.

I listen to that song play again,
and it makes me think of you
as much as it hurts to admit.
It's the one that
reminds me how unhappy you were when you left,
and that I won't see you the same way I once did.
In a way, I wish you'd know how much I miss you,
but in another, I'm glad you don't.

I imagine you singing this song,
and seeing it from my point of view.
You could see how pained I am to know you don't love me,
but how happy I am you're happy; how I'd rather give it all up for you
than let you suffer, as I do, for me.
In a way, I wish you would step in my shoes,
but in another, I'm glad you won't.

I listen to that song play again,
and it makes me think of you
as much as it hurts to admit that.
It's the one that
has no words but great emotion and whenever it plays,
it plays a movie of our memories with it.
In a way, I wish you'd know what I'm thinking,
but in another, I'm glad you can't.

I imagine you humming this song,
and seeing the nostalgia in your eyes.
I see how you're happy remembering which is enough for me,
but you always cross the line and pain me with the memories too...
In a way, I'm glad you do,
but in another, I wish you wouldn't.

I listen to that song play again,
and it makes me think of you
as much as it hurts to admit that.
It's the one that
explains how I used to feel,
and how I should feel now.
In a way, I wish I could be happy,
but in another, I already am.

I imagine you singing this song,
and not realizing that it's the old me,
not me now, that I'm extremely unhappy for me,
but that I'm more than happy for you.
In a way, I wish you would notice and help me,
but in another, I'm glad you're too preoccupied.

I listen to that song play again,
and it makes me think of you
as much as it hurts to admit that.
It's the one
that you really love;
the song that you used to listen to all the time...
In a way, I'm glad you don't listen to it much anymore,
but in another, I wish you would.

I imagine you singing this song,
and remembering those days
when we laughed at things so stupid they're hardly worth mentioning,
but they made us smile so much it hurt our cheeks, or at least mine.
In a way, I wish you'd know what I was talking about,
but in another, I'm glad you don't remember.

I listen to that song play again,
and it makes me think of you
as much as it hurts to admit that.
It's not a particular song,
just the one that I'm listening to;
just the one that makes me think of you.
In a way, I wish I wouldn't,
but in another, I'm glad I do.

I imagine you listening to this song,
and thinking of me.
I imagine that when listening to this song you realize how much I miss you;
that listening to this song would make you love me.
In a way, I wish you would,
but in another, I'm glad you don't.

Author's Note

The songs that each of these stanzas refer to are the following, in that order: "Hate Me" by Blue October; "Signal Fire" by Snow Patrol; "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls; "You Could Be Happy" by Snow Patrol; "Koyuki Kazahana" by Toshio Masuda [for Naruto]; "A Kind Of Magic" by Sleepthief; "Simple and Clean" by Utada Hikaru; and the last verse obvious refers to no one song in particular.