I Am Me

A free verse about transsexuality from my perspective.

This body is not mine
Not mine to take, shape, and design.
It's the form of a girl, a daughter,
A sister, child, friend, and lover.

Who am I to take away that life?

I'm breaking free; breaking free
So I can see the light of day
through these eyes
that are not mine.
This body is not mine.

What is this body to me?

It's a cocoon, an egg.
I have not yet been born;
Why do I grow?
What have I learned?
What do I know?

I can hardly keep up with who and what I am most days.

I am confused and scared in this form.
This body is not mine.
Yet I am torn;
Isn't this supposed to be me?
I look in the mirror and see a stranger's face.
I hate that stranger, but I see...
I see their face looking back to me
With suicide in their eyes.

Is this supposed to be a gift?

With this knife I will remove what is wrong.
With this needle I will mold like clay.
With technology I will reform; be reborn...
I will play God.

Kill or be killed.

I'm defected, and mutilation is my cure
I am supposed to drug myself to freedom;
Freedom from myself.

Self-loathing is the only reasonable fear I have.

My body is my Hell
Founded by the divine
A cursed gift, but it's not mine...
I wish to understand this lie
That I've been told since the day I died:
Female.

I am no woman.

Hear me now or forever remain boxed within
Your closed mindset; I am not walking sin
I am me,
and I must break free.
Free from you and me, from society.

I'm tired of labeling myself.
Can't you see?
I am me; I am me; I am me.

Author's Note

PICTURE NOT MINE.