when do we forgive?

ive made my bed, and now im lying in it

i guess you smoke cigarettes now

and im out on your balcony

watching the night go by

the air feels different out here

and you look so beautiful with 

the porch light on your face

you tell me about how

broken you are since i left

and i know its not all my fault

but its hard to feel like its not

i feel like the mature adult and 

you are the grieving child

you dont eat anymore, 

you beg for my attention

and i give it to you because

i want you to be okay

and this guilt eats away at me

its 3am

you taste like cigarettes and beer

but it tastes so good

because im drunk and i missed you

and we're desperate