More than my Disease

A Poem by Ashes

I had just gotten out of a residential treatment facility and was feeling empowered

What if I'm not just crazy, or just "sick"?
What if I'm more than some definition?
What if I'm more than you give me credit for?
Because I can be,
Because I am,
But you have to let me be.
Yes you have to let me be.
I repeat you have to let me be,
Because I'm more than my disease.

You walk around as though you are walking on eggshells,
But you don't have to be.
I won't deny I've done some stupid s**t.
My actions were reactions to the way I have been treated
By the bullies, by the abusers, by society as a whole.
That doesn't make it ok, but I'm learning.
See my past does not define me.
I'm more than my scars.
I'm more than my disease.

What if we were friend,
And I mean really friends?
Where we goofed around,
Got to know each other.
Where we trusted each other
Instead of it being a one way street.
Where we are now, is that really friends?
Do you know me, and I know you?
Do you trust me?
Can I trust you?

I'll still struggle, I'll still fall
But it's not all of me, all consuming.
You can trust me. I can be there. I can listen.
I don't need you to feel sorry for me
I need you to love me, to listen, to support me,
Sometimes just to help me smile,
And know that I can do the same for you.
I'm more than my pain.
I'm more than my disease.

Something to understand,
No medicine can "fix" me
It just doesn't work that way.
I'll always be bipolar, I'll get manic.
I'll have borderline.
Anxiety will be an issue.
I'm not perfect,
Those will always be a part of me
But my issues do not define me.
You don't have to be afraid of me, or for me.
Trust that there is more to me.
Let me show you, look and see.
I'm so much more than my disease.