Echoes

Silent cries

They say those who do not cry, 

Die early from feelings held inside,

So I choose not to cry,

And that should speak volumes.

Author's Note

🙏

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

this little poem speaks volumes…..those of us who hold our feelings in may be more prone to an early death…. either by suicide or overdose…. depression is rampant and we have to learn to. accept and. distance from it, but we can’t let it go, perhaps by crying….. many cannot cry and the shadows are kept within …… nice write!
warmly, B🌷

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree with your words dear poet. Holding regret and sadness inside our mind and heart. Become a heavy load to carry. Powerful and worthwhile words and thoughts written. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[JayG]

Well, you did ask... So you have only yourself to blame. 😆

Look at the piece as the punctuation says to read it:

“They say those who do not cry, die early from feelings held inside, so I choose not to cry, and that should speak volumes.”

1. Should all those commas be commas? No. The rules of punctuation don’t change for poetry.
2. Be very careful when using, “They say...” What percentage of any group constitutes that, “they?” It’s unstated and unknowable, so what it really says is, “This is what I think.” And in reality, has anyone ever really died from holding in their feelings?
3. Here I sit in front of my computer. I also choose not to cry. But...without knowing WHY someone might cry, what does telling you that they didn’t tell the reader? nothing.

Since you know what prompted you to write it, and have context for the why of it, the piece makes perfect sense. For you every word points to events, reactions, memory, and more, all waiting to be called up from your mind. But, pity the reader. For them, every word points to events, reactions, memory, and more, all waiting to be called up from *YOUR* mind. And with you not there when it's read...

The thing is, like most of us when we turn to poetry, the only approach to writing that we own are the skills we’re given in school. But what was our most common writing assignment? Reports and essays, which have as their goal, informing the reader. And isn’t that what you’ve done here, and in your other posted work?

The approach of nonfiction, that of writing in a fact-based and author-centric way, forces you to talk about you, and what’s important to you. Meaningful to you, of course. But, did you wake today wondering what’s bothering me today? Of course not. So, turn that around. How many of those who will see this piece woke today wondering about you?

The thing to remember is that the goal of poetry is to move the reader, emotionally, and entertain them. Poets have a superpower: With nothing more than your choice and placement of words, you can make people you’ll never meet weep, laugh, and feel any emotion YOU choose. And that is, in a word, awesome. But, it’s also a learned skill, because the techniques of both fiction and poetry are emotion-based and character-centric. that approach creates pictures in the reader’s mind. And the flow of the words—the prosody—causes the reader to become the performer.

Take a minute to read Robert W. Service’s, The Cremation of Sam McGee. It’s a metrical poem, written over 100 years ago. Note how the rhythm of the words adds impact at each line-end. He’s literally turning the reader into a performer. I’ve performed this poem for an audience of scouts at campfires, and watched many of them begin nodding in time to the beat.
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45081/the-cremation-of-sam-mcgee


It’s a poem that made a LOT of money for Mr. Service, and launched his career. And while it is a metrical poem, even in prose poetry, the flow of words, and their feel in the mouth as read, matter, because poetry is intended to be read aloud.

Bear in mind that what I’ve been saying has nothing to do with your talent and potential as a writer, just that you need to pick the brains of those who came before. For centuries, in both poetry and fiction, people have been screwing up, and learning from the experience—then screwing up in a new way and learning from that. So...which is best:

a) Learn from THEIR mistakes and build on that.
b) Waste time trying to reinvent the wheel.

Using the nonfiction skills we’re given in school, we tell the reader that we cried at a funeral. But with the emotion-based skills of poetry and fiction, we make the READER weep! And when we do, strangely, that reader will thank us.

So...dig into the skills of the poet AND the fiction writer. You’ll be amazed at how the options multiply, and at how much more fun the act of writing becomes.

Some assignments:

For prose poetry, try Mary Oliver’s, A Poetry Handbook. You can read or download it from the link below:
https://www.docdroid.net/7iE8fIJ/a-poetry-handbook-pdfdrivecom-pdf

For metric poetry, trot over to Amazon and read the excerpt from Stephen Fry’s, The Ode Less Traveled. He will amaze you with things you use every day but never notice.

For fiction, begin with, Debra Dixon’s, GMC: Goal Motivation & Conflict. She sets the tone, perfectly, with the title for chapter 1.
https://archive.org/details/goal.motivation.conflictdebradixon/page/n5/mode/2up

And for an overview of the traps and gotchas of fiction, check a few of my articles and YouTube videos, linked to at the bottom.

But above all: hang in there, and keep on writing. It’s not a destination, it’s a lifelong journey. And while it never gets easier, after a while, we can become confused on a higher level, and shift the ratio of crap to gold a bit toward gold.

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

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“Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”
~ E. L. Doctorow

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
~ Mark Twain