Life Will Never Forgive

I hadn’t thought much to what my future would be. I certainly did not think it would be like this. I had thought at one point, fame and fortune would come to me. I thought I was different, talented, and going to be prosperous in my life. I had no clue how cruel the world could be. I had no clue, how my insecurities would grow and how they would begin to eat me alive. I never thought I would be starting over, with a new goal, a new challenge, and a new talent to grow. I never wanted this, and now all I want is some painless form of death, simply because I didn’t achieve what I wanted.

I hated my classmates, and I hated the monotony of going to school. It felt as if there was no peace in my life. However, now that I can look back, I wish nothing more but to return to that time. If I have to start over, I want to start from the beginning. I want my mother back. The home I grew up in. The life I once had, without the drugs, without the alcohol. With dad there next to mom (A sight I rarely saw). I want the worries away. Something I might have made.

Music is no life for me, writing perhaps. It feels like there is no point in beginning again, I will just fail, like every time before. I wasted my time on this. And now, I will waste my time on something else. Like every girl I’ve ever seen, giving so selflessly, for something so selfish. There is no point, because all I want is to have nothing to do. But when I have nothing to do, I come unglued. And in that society would look down on me. A lazy hippie. Get a job, you’ve got nothing good, and deserve nothing more.

I just wish younger me had listened. Maybe mom will get through, now that I’m twenty. Maybe I can finally see, what she saw in me. But clouded by doubt, I don’t know what that means. Life is futile, when death is imminent. Take me away. My child will live. Take me away. I’ve got nothing left to give. Take me away. Life will never forgive.

Reviews

[Project022]

Wow.. just wow. This is beautiful in a sad way. It totally shows how someone's life can change and how cruel the world has become. It's very very realistic. Amazing job..! ^^

[Asha]

Thank you!