The Fallen One

Inspired by true love.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
I do, for I have lived it with my heart
such a feeling as I write
reminding her, where should start?
She's bright, gorgeous and creative
discrete, responsible and kind
and though she might seem naive
you shouldn't underestimate her mind.

There's only one problem though
she doesn't care if I'm beside
and that's a fact I know
would she notice if I died?
no, I'm sure she won't notice
she's just too "busy" to care
oh how I long for just one kiss
and yet, she's quite unfair.

So here I am, your loving man
you left me all alone to die.

Here I am, the fallen one
the yearning love in sigh...

...not even tried to be my friend
I'm dancing blissful 'til my end.

Author's Note

Ignore bad grammar, if any.

Reviews

[Aurora Night]

This peom is very creative. You describe a perfect character who is yet unperfect at the same time. I love it. Although it was great work on expanding it. I believe that you could add a little more description. You talk as though she had left this impression, but only from her personality. Possibly describe what she looks like. Or when she looks at you what does it do? No need to take my suggestions, but something to consider.

[Mary Something--Or--Oth..]

Aww! This was a very well writen poem, I like your style! xD I loved that last line "I'm dancing blissful 'til my end." It struck me (in a good way:) Anywho, I'm sorry if that really happened to you, but you wrote about it very well! xDDDD

[deeps]

This is quite the amazing write here. I throughly enjoyed this write.
Flows so well.