Street Clown

Today I wake up, not willing to
another day to fulfill
I'll be the fool for you
in exchange for some coins to pay the bill
I'll hide my sorrows and make you smile
as you make your way home in time
and I'll stay here again for a while
to see if someone spares a dime.

I'm the one who'll try to make you feel better
but when you arrive home tonight
look to yourself in the mirror with your fancy sweater
and think for a second my life's a fight.

Author's Note

Ignore bad grammar

Reviews

[Ama May Cooper]

An amazing piece of work so filled with pain and comedy. A clown may find homour but they always behind a mask in a wya you ive an insight to a real person behin the lauhgs

[Jason]

This is a brilliant work of art that gives a perspective from the clown's point of view. Its different to sit back and think that someone who spends their whole life dressing up to make others laugh, could also be hinding behind that same sense of humor. Brilliant piece. Great idea and direction. Simply, brilliant.

Jay

[Jamie S.]

It reads aloud a wee bit clumsy but makes such a bold point. I will forever think of this poem when I pass by someone in need. When you leave a perminant mark in someones mind with your words youve filled your passion as a writer.

-Jamie

[Katherine Hall]

This poem starts out with a lot of strength, but seems to peter out by the end. The monotony the narrator feels about his life is tangible, particularly in the last two lines of the first stanza ('I'll stay here again for a while/to see if someone spares a dime') However, the last little stanza feels forced to me, particularly the last two lines, which sound out-of-character and seem to be there mostly for the sake of the rhyme-scheme. I would consider revising, or striking entirely, that second stanza. The first half of the poem is the strongest, definitely.
~Katherine

[Jon Gary Frost]

I enjoyed the "reluctant protagonist" feel of this piece. Your character's frustration is tangible. The contrast between the happy appearance of the clown versus the inner turmoil of having to be the clown is either a glimpse into a great literal scenario (maybe you are a performing artist?) or a good metaphorical concept.

Some of your other pieces are a little rocky based on what seems to be English as your second language. But it works well for this piece, somehow. I generally disagree with the "ignore bad grammar" notes from Authors. Either do it right or don't do it. "bad grammar intentional" is acceptable if it's part of the overall flow and feel of a piece. This one, though, it worked. Sorry if I got preachy.

Overall a great and telling piece. Good job!

[Just Manoosh]

Literal meaning of has been crafted adeptly, but my mind still wanders to whether the meaning behind this is much deeper. I like the niggle it has placed in my mind, to me challenging thoughts are almost essential to good poetry (not that I can boast that my pieces are in away challenging).

A great piece.

Mx

[Twilight]

An interesting theme for a poem, if you don't mind me saying so? Anyway, it made me ponder the thought, is it the clown who is more foolish, or those who are so willing to hand their hard-earned money to him? In other words, ordinary people have to endure difficult working conditions in order to acquire their money - in contrast to a clown, who simply has to behave like a fool! There is certainly a degree of irony here, don't you think?

Your wording is quite simple, yet both appropriate and relevant. There are no wasted words. Nor, do you make fun of the poor clown's predicament in any way. Indeed, your eloquent poem is a reminder of the stark reality to a clown's life.

This is a rather short poem, and the flow is not particularly smooth. But, it is still a fine poem (as suggested by my earlier praise)! Thankyou, for sharing with with us. A worthy addition to my Group, "Twilight's Disciples"!

[Andrea L. Cox]

great poem

[OutToLunch]

this makes me want to not wear sweaters...

[Elmij Jim]

:O oh hell!, makes feel kinda empty you know? thanks god I have no mirror ;)
great poem, long live the street clowns!.