Gone, but Still Here
A Poem by
ArtistryofWords
Yeah... I hope you like it.
Her skirt billowing in
The sweet Autumn wind
Her tawny hair
Surrounding her sweet,
Round face
She walks off
Fading into the mist
Her petite feet
Leave no mark
Despite the mud
Trying to keep her near
She disappears
Wandering toward
True light
Uncontained
Unbothered
Pure
And the wind whispers
Farewell songs
And the birds sing
Songs of hope
The mist coils around
Vowing to protect her
She’s a free spirit
She’s light
She’s hope
She’s gone
But still here
© 2010 ArtistryofWords
Author's Note
I know, my poems tend to be written in odd format. I can change it if it's bothersome.
Reviews
Spectacularly descriptive and creative. I actually like your format; it’s different and complements your word choice and flow. However, I would suggest adding periods, especially since you have a comma or two. But I enjoyed the overall theme to the poem.
Good write, keep it up.
God bless : )
Posted 14 Years Ago
I find your formatting engaging and clear and precise~ short bursts of expression easily grasped and more poignantly affective for the brevity~ here you draw an image that is fluid and fleshed out beautifully~ one can see her and hear her footsteps~ feel her light air of being~
Posted 14 Years Ago
I find your formatting engaging and clear and precise~ short bursts of expression easily grasped and more poignantly affective for the brevity~ here you draw an image that is fluid and fleshed out beautifully~ one can see her and hear her footsteps~ feel her light air of being~
There is nothing bothersome about this poem. I love the flow and imagery. Great talent and I can only see it growing ! Great work.
Posted 14 Years Ago
There is nothing bothersome about this poem. I love the flow and imagery. Great talent and I can only see it growing ! Great work.
I don't find this form "bothersome" in the least... it actually works. This piece has an excellent flow. The imagery is vivid and beautiful...
"The mist coils around
Vowing to protect her" - fantastic line.
The ending is perfect : we may feel like hope is gone, but there is always hope even if it's just a spark...it's still there.
You definitely brought these words together and made them into the most beautiful work of art.
Magnificent work :)
Posted 14 Years Ago
I don't find this form "bothersome" in the least... it actually works. This piece has an excellent flow. The imagery is vivid and beautiful...
"The mist coils around
Vowing to protect her" - fantastic line.
The ending is perfect : we may feel like hope is gone, but there is always hope even if it's just a spark...it's still there.
You definitely brought these words together and made them into the most beautiful work of art.
Magnificent work :)
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206 Views
4 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 26, 2010
Last Updated on July 26, 2010
Author
ArtistryofWords Phoenix, MD
About
I am 11 years old, but writing is my passion. It's my form of art. When you live in a small town on the outskirts of Baltimore in a crowded house, sometimes you just need to escape, which is how I sta..
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