The Christmas Nazi

Written in 2006

 

Ah....this is a glorious time of year!
We shelter in our warm homes
Wrapped in our warm blankets
Sipping warm drinks
While we think warm thoughts of joyous times

When outside there comes a sound
It is a wretched sound of clanging metal
We go to our windows to see what is there
But there is not a trace of movement
Except the gentle falling of snowflakes

Our curiosity settled we go back to our warmth
While outside there is a sneaking
One who seeks their prey in the peaceful night
They creep up to our window
And make their wretched noises

Inside we hear and frightened look back out our windows
But there is still nothing to see
Then on our door comes a pounding
We are frozen with fright
And suddenly the door bursts open

In steps a fearful sight
Women hide, children scatter and men shrink away
For standing in our door is the Christmas Nazi
With a wild look in his eye
He demands our attention

Stepping firmly and purposefully
He crosses the room
He voices his demands
"Give me your gifts, treats and sugary goodness!"
Afraid no one moves

"Do I have to let my friend do some persuading?"
He says patting the machine gun at his side
Obediently we meet his requests
Putting all of our Christmassy goodness
Into his big red bag patterned with a black Swastika

He smiles and says
"A merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night!"
And as suddenly as he came he left
Leaving only the tingling of his laughter in our ears

And so I tell you
As you wrap yourselves in tonight
Listen carefully and you just might hear
The joyous sounds of laughter
As the Christmas Nazi stalks the night