Instructions for the Wake

There will be no funeral,

only a wake.

My body should be nowhere to be found,

there should be no photos nor videos of me.

My name should only be spoken when absolutely necessary.

There are only a select few who may attend:

          wrestlers

          Swedish lesbians

          people with a very rational fear of telephones

          gays, bisexuals and transgendered persons

          manslaughterers

          manslaughterees

There will be a strict set of rules that must be obeyed*:

          no suits

          no handshakes

          no speeches nor toasts

          the drinking of alcohol is completely forbidden

          so is the smoking of cigarettes and the snorting of snuff

          crack and heroin are allowed

          all electronic devices must be left by the door

          everyone must leave and arrive in separate cars

There are to be three key events:

          45 minutes of silent circle time

          45 minutes of non-silent circle time

          lunch

Apart from that you may do as you please.

If you are to attempt meaningful discussion,

there are four things you may want to know:

          I looked to the universe and it watched me die

          I looked to the world and it watched me die

          I looked to my bedroom and it watched my die

          I looked to my mirror and it watched my die

*All rules may be broken for comedy purposes.

     

            

Reviews

[Adriana]

Okay this is the most innovative thing I have read in a while, I loved imagining your funeral if you don't mind me saying. As a bisexual, I am honoured to have received an official invite. This made me laugh and most importantly, think, which I believe poetry should always make you do, thank you for sharing it:)