Chapter I: A Shadow in the Storm

An intruder invades the castle at night.

          A storm lit up the night. In the sun room, Kisara painted on her easel. Small tables held candles around the room. Lightning provided the rest of her light. The walls were nothing but glass windows. Behind her was the hallway connected to the castle.

She was painting her favorite duel monster, the Blue-Eyes White Dragon, in hyper-realistic form. This was a style of painting so realistic she could fool the eye. Since she first learned to paint at the age of seven, it took her this long to master it. Now she was twenty-one. Painting had been her life-long passion.

          She mixed a special color for the eyes of the dragon. They were a beautiful shade of blue. Just when her brush touched an eye, a strange glow flickered past the glass. She looked up and turned around. No one was there, or not anymore… She picked up a candle and decided to investigate.

          When she turned the corner she could see a figure moving down ahead of her, holding some kind of light. Had someone from the tournament invaded the castle? Well, if it was just some duelist, she figured shooing them out wouldn’t be hard. So she followed.

          They walked all the way to the bedroom she shared with her fiancée, Maximilian Pegasus. When she saw them go inside she quickened to a run.

          Entering the room, she was immediately pushed to the floor. The stranger had mounted her beneath him and she couldn’t get up.

          He had fluffy, white hair and brown eyes. She had never seen him before. Around his neck was a golden ring. In the center was a flat pyramid with a wadjet eye. Little diamond-shaped beads hung from the ring.

          “Looks like I’ve caught you, my follower,” he said with a smirk.

          “What are you doing here?” she asked.

          His heavy breath graced her ear as he leaned in and said, “Nothing you would be proud of. Now stay still, this might hurt.”

          Seeing the ring glow, she felt a throbbing in her head and passed out.

 

* * *

 

“Kisara, wake up!” shouted a familiar voice. She hazily opened her eyes to see Max above her.

“What happened to me?” she asked.

“You mean you don’t remember?”

She was lying on the floor with a bad headache.

“No, I don’t remember. Do you?”

He helped her get up and said, “I just found you here. Are you alright?”

She slowly walked over to the bed and laid down. “I need some pain killer for my head. It’s really hurting.”

“I’ll get some. Just rest darling.”

She rolled over and covered her head with a pillow. This morning was the beginning of their duel monsters tournament, and she felt sick. She had to get well before dawn.

What happened to her and why didn't she remember?

“Here’s your medicine,” said Max, handing her a glass of water. She took the pill from him and swallowed it.

Max’s left eye was replaced by a golden eye he found in Egypt. Ever since he got it she had asked him why, but he never wanted to tell her. When they fell in love she let it go.

He grasped the engagement ring around her finger. “At least we still have time to sleep.”

He got in bed with her and she fell asleep in his arms.

 

* * *

 

Ocean sounds played out from the alarm clock. She felt his lips press against hers as he kissed her awake. Then he got up and lifted her out of bed.

The butler, Oliver, and head parlourmaid, Lydia, walked in to assist them. Kisara followed Lydia to her wardrobe chamber.

She was dressed in a beautiful pink gown and he wore a black tuxedo.

“Are you ready, my darling?” he asked, taking her hand.

“Of course,” she replied.

He escorted her outside the castle, onto the main balcony. Below them the duelists had already gathered to hear the rules for the tournament.

“Welcome to duelist kingdom,” announced Max. “We will now explain the rules for the first half of the tournament.

“In one hour, the duels will take place freely around the island. Before the 48 hour time limit is up, you must win 10 star chips. One or more is staked at every duel.”

“The glove you’ve received goes on your left hand,” announced Kisara. “The gauntlet has 10 spaces. Insert your two star chips there. If you lose all of them, you will be disqualified from the tournament before the time limit ends. Good luck!”

“Go now and claim your spaces before the tournament starts!” finished Max.

Fireworks shot off above the castle.

Author's Note

This is a yugioh fanfiction.

Reviews

[fwvalidus]

Sorry for the delay in responding and fulfilling your read request. I'm hoping to be back in the writerscafe community and I will be adding some recent writing of my own right away!

I agree that this moves along a little too fast. You are able to provide good images for me with detail such as the candles, the breathe of the intruder grazing* her ear, and more. Please continue more of this to ensure your story flows and continues to move along in my mind like a movie. Seemless is the goal!

Picky here, but I will give a quick grammar correction:

"The butler, Oliver and head parlourmaid, Lydia walked in to assist them"

Should be written like this: "The butler, Oliver, and head parlourmaid, Lydia, walked in to assist them".

As you have it now, it reads as if the butler and Oliver are different characters because you are listing them. When you use "The butler, Oliver, and the head parlourmaid, Lydia," you are supplementing staff positions in the house with their name rather than appearing to list additional characters. Hope his helps! Keep writing this story so that we can figure out who the intruder was and why they were there in the first place!

[Silent Wolf]

Interesting start, but it moves a bit quickly.