Chapter V: The Palace

          “Kiya! Let’s play a game,” Kheti pleaded, pulling her outside.

          “What? I have to help father!”

          “Then who am I going to kick the ball to?”

          “I’m sorry Kheti. I have to go.”

          Kiya lied on her coat, trying to remember what Kheti’s face looked like the last moment she saw him. Was it sad? No. It was that playful, disappointed look.

          She rolled over and stared at Salih. He was facing her, with his head on his pillow. It was early morning, the second day after Kheti’s death.

          “Tell me every word Kheti said to you,” she requested quietly, trying not to wake the guards.

          “Not much. To quote him, all he had time to say was, What? Who are you? Really, it’s your memories that matter.

          “I know. I just wanted to know his last words.”

          “Don’t dwell on him too much.”

          “I’m not,” she said, looking at him crossly.

          “When are you leaving for the palace?”

          “Pretty soon. I don’t want to make Seto wait.”

          “Some life that boy has.”

          “It’s not like that. He worked hard to get this far. In the beginning, he was a commoner too.”

          “Weird. A commoner trying to be a noble.”

          “Yeah, it is. Anyway, I need to sneak into the bathroom before the guards wake up.”

          “Want me to guard the door?”

          “Please do.”

          Kiya grabbed the stuff she bought yesterday. Some clothes, a towel, and a rag. Then she snuck into the bathroom. Of course, the bath was a big bucket like at her home. She poured in fresh water from a pitcher and jumped in.

          Usually, she would wait seven days between baths, but this time it had only been three. She didn’t want to get kicked out of the palace for stinking. Those people bathed every day or more.

          She washed up quickly, threw on her clothes, and opened the door. Salih was right on the other side.

          “I swear on my mother’s grave I didn’t peek,” he said with a sincere smile.

          “We used to run around naked as children,” she replied. “Why should I care?”

          His cheeks turned red in embarrassment and she ran off laughing.

          Outside, she treaded a short distance to the gate. It was almost right beside the barracks. Seto was hanging around nearby. It didn’t look like he’d been waiting long.

          “Hello Kiya,” he said.

          “Hey!” She tackled him in a hug. “Do I smell good enough?”

          He stumbled. “Am I supposed to smell you?”

          “Yes, please!”

          Seto took in her scent. She smelled sweet, like a girl. Nothing like he imagined. “You have my approval,” he said.

          She let go of him and he held her hand. “I’m going to lead you in, and introduce you to the leader of this secret society,” he said.

          “Okay!”

          “When we go in, remember to be quiet.”

          She nodded and he knocked on the gate. A guard opened it. From there, Seto and Kiya went over the stone walkway and up the entrance stairs. At the top were the doors to the palace of Ineb-Hedg, where Egypt’s Pharaoh and his royal family resided. Seto pushed a door open and they entered through the palace throne room. At the time, it was empty.

          They went down a hallway and stopped in front of a door. “This is where the leader resides. His name is Mahad. He’s also one of Pharaoh Aknamkanon’s six guardians”

          “Is that you Seto?” a man asked from inside. The door opened, revealing him. His brown hair fell to his shoulders and he wore a golden ring hanging from his neck. It had six diamond-shaped beads on it, and a pyramid with an Wadjet eye was in the center of the ring.

          He noticed Kiya and asked, “Who is your guest, Seto?”

          “My friend, Kiya. She wishes to join your magic society.”

          “Why is that?”

          “My reasons are my own,” said Kiya.

          “You should be aware,” said Mahad, “that magic, or Heka, itself is very dangerous. By joining the practice, you will be risking your own life.”

          “Very well,” said Kiya.

          Worry struck Seto. He had never heard practicing magic was deadly. Otherwise he wouldn’t have told Kiya about it. Mahad stared at him questioningly and Seto averted his eyes.

          “As the only member familiar with her,” said Mahad, “I will introduce Kiya to the art.”

          He faced Kiya and said, “Follow me to the Heka chamber, Kiya.”

Reviews

[Trigorin]

You've made a good first effort, but I think one thing to consider is how you want your characters to come across to the audience. At present they feel a little two-dimensional and not quite properly fleshed out. I think you ought to show the characters' emotions and inner thoughts a bit more in order for the audience to be able to relate to them better.