A woman named Gormless

Some of the most important people in your life will have a pet name...

Go-o-ormless~

 

What is that vile smell, pouring in from my kitchen?

Rotten flesh, dipped in a jar of vinegar?

 

WELL

 

it’s none other than Gormless!

She has arrived on the most bitter of days,

dragging her lifeless body up my drive, to my door,

 

“Ding-Dong!”

 

“Alright, Liz?” mother greets with a smile.

The woman, with greys in her hair matches the gesture, scraping her feet onto the welcome mat. “Still dying my hair?” she queries.

 

I pause in my seat - now who could that be?

Grab the shovel, take aim for the head; they have arrived!

 

OH NO WAIT

 

it’s just Gormless.

A humble, chip-shop lady at heart; working part time as a dinner lady

in my old secondary school.

So, that’s the vinegar I smell...

 

SNIFF;

 

the rotting flesh is just her :)

 

 

“Bye, Gormless,” I say with a grin, noticing her headwear I add, “nice hat”

She grins her rotten teeth onto me. “Aw, thank you”

 

Then she takes her smell outside.

 

 

Author's Note

Literally a two minute, unedited and naff poem before I retire to my chambers for the night. This is dedicated to my mam's oldest friend, and my adopted auntie whom I bully constantly XD Her pet name is "Gormless" find out where she lives, send her letters/emails, tell me to pass the message on; just call her Gormless, mortals! :D

Reviews

[Adam :P]

haha this is different i enjoyed reading it thought. well done!

[Nothing Personal]

Funny. Seemed Deeper than it sounded...Good work

[r]

xD That is SO funny and cute. Gormless - haha! I LOVE this poem; it's whimsical. And weird. xP But weird is GOOD. so yeah. xD Nice, I do like.