Vengence

Darkness comes and over flows...

With a smirk their anger grows...

With a laugh, they curl their toes...

In their eyes their fear shows...

We will clash blow to blow...

Every battle hardens my soul...

They want the secrets I know...

The frozen heart that is my own...

Craves the flame that left it lone...

In my sorrow I face a foe...

A thief that dared to steal my home...

Puddles of blood cover the floor...

Soon one of us will breathe no more...

Soon enough she loses her sword...

In this fight I won't bore...

A hidden blade runs my neck through...

My icy blast claims her too...

A friendly face marred with a frown...

Strikes the ice that keeps us bound...

Reviews

[KAin]

Enjoyed the dark emotions running rampant in this piece. Sorrow and rage are key ingredients to vengeance, and you certainly helped to evoke that. What i like is how it ends - how the avenger dies along with the object of her vengeance. In many revenge-stories, a common theme is how revenge comes to consume the soul of the person pursuing it. They give their lives for it. And when they achieve it, find that they have nothing left to live for. I like how you conveyed that at the end, of two lives given to Vengeance. As it should be, perhaps... Well done, Arrinae.

[Arrinae]

Thanks Landred! I am glad you liked it. Thank you for the review.

[Ashira Macy]

I think this is my favorite of your poems so far. Nice and dark with great description of a battle scene which I think is more difficult to do in poetry that in stories. Great flow and rhyme in this one as well.

[Arrinae]

I'm glad to hear it. I loved this piece the moment I sang it in the shower and just had to write it down.

[Ashira Macy]

It makes sense that it started as a song, it does have that sort of feel to it.

[Average person]

I like this too It is just dark enough to send a chill down your spine but it doesnt over do it. :) probably one of the best I've read so far

[Arrinae]

Thanks. This is one of my favorite ones so far, I like singing the words aloud.

[Caradoc]

A dark narrative. The picture only helps to illustrate the battle that rages between the narrator and their foe. I think I like this one. It has a couple of lessons and an undercurrent of reality hidden within the fantasy.

Among those are that revenge is a double edged blade, that cuts its wielder, even as it hurts their foes.

One thing that strikes me is that this could actually be a metaphor for adultery. The battle that is raging is between the faithful spouse and the "homewrecker". Each time they come to blows, the faithful's heart and soul harden a little more, trying to become inured to the pain. Of course, because of this their family life is destroyed as evidenced by the line "a thief that dared to steal my home". The faithful is determined to take down the offender, even if it destroys them too. And the final player in this tragedy is the unfaithful, the "friendly face marred with a frown" that keeps the two combatants bound to their struggle.

This of course, is what I get from it. Still...it's powerful.

A nicely written piece.

-Caradoc

[Arrinae]

I'm glad you like!

[Arrinae]

All poems can be interpertated in different ways, depending on the mindset of the reader. When I wrote this, I saw a woman getting vengence against her husband's killer, whom had been someone she trusted. The person who striked the ice was another friend, filled with concern over the woman, but wanted to end the murderer themself.
I thank you for sharing your view from reading it with me.

[Caradoc]

That's pretty interesting. I didn't think of it that way.