Splelch

An angry dwarf leads his species into isolation.

A disturbingly short time ago, in a land uncomfortably close by, an angry dwarf named Splelch articulated thoughts that had been brewing in the heart of every member of the land. Splelch, hitherto ignored unless spouting advice on metalworking, his area of expertise, found himself at the center of attention by suggesting that the leaders of the land (landlords) had treated dwarves unfairly for years and that most dwarves were shy to express their frustration for fear of reinforcing the stereotype that dwarves love to get angry. He pointed to his own toilet, which had been vandalized by fairies, and his fellow-dwarves' houses, which were seized by the landlords to be briefly exhibited, for dwarf-dwellings were ancient and always had a rich place in history.

Splelch insisted that the landlords would not respond to their cries of oppression, because the landlords had consciously silenced the dwarves, so before they could fight back they must step back. Ending his lengthy revelation on that cryptic note, Splelch calmly turned around and walked away from the land, making no gestures of leadership to his audience of dwarves and curious creatures from other species, most of whom followed him anyway. When they reached the land-border, several people expecting another speech left the group, but Splelch's true supporters remained. They marched inside a famous cave that Splelch explained was the birthplace of the entire dwarf race.

"There's plenty of room," he said, "for our friends and landlords to enjoy this cave with us, so long as they concede benevolent authority to us dwarves who, after all, know more about cave-life than anyone else." The crowd roared, and everyone interpreted the echo as the cave's approval. The dwarves sent their proposal to the landlords, who reiterated the reasons why they had all left the cave in the first place, none of which impressed the dwarves. Eventually the cavedwellers agreed that even if the landlords were right, the distance between them was too far to retravel, thus dwarf isolation would be best for everyone, though Splelch continued trying to convert the landlords until the Great Collapse.