The Not-So-Common Valentine's Day

This morning I woke up, assuming I knew what the day would bring. Yet as I sat in Church listening to the twenty minute long homily, I realized maybe things are never really quite what they seem. Maybe we wake up each and every morning knowing exactly who we are, how we were raised and how we are supposed to morally live our lives, yet we push these things to the back of our minds avoiding truths and striving to live a life we were never meant to have.

This morning’s homily discussed relationships, the good, the bad and the ugly. Colleges and high schools alike, are well known for being members of the “hook-up” culture. You meet someone at a party, have a few drinks with them, realize you have a thing or two in common, and then you find yourself waking up in the other room half-naked with a pounding headache. Now, all relations don’t fall under this stereotype of course, but it is definitely something to consider. Whatever happened to the days of courtship and dating, not to see how long it would take to get into someones pants, but rather because you genuinely cared for them, and liked spending time with them?

As I listened to the priest stalk on about making good decisions and not falling under the common peer pressures of life, I took a step back to analyze my own situations. I am a college student. I have a good group of friends and do well in my classes. And I like a boy, who like any other has his moments, but is a nice, genuine person. It shouldn’t matter that inappropriate things cross my mind from time to time, or that my religion forces me to hold myself to some kind of set moral standard. I am who I am, and I am happy. Shouldn’t that be enough?

I find myself not wanting to go to Church, due to all of these expectations that have been drilled into my brain since I could speak. I hate feeling like I don’t belong in a place that is supposed to be welcoming and accepting of all, because maybe I curse every once in a while, or make lewd comments with my friends, or don’t think it’s wrong to have sex before marriage if you really care about that other person. I am not a pristine Catholic girl, nor do I want to be. All I know is that I have faith, and that should be enough. I know I am a good person, but I don’t like surrounding myself with people I know would and have judged me. I don’t like having to change my attitudes and mannerisms for certain people. If they really believed all that they preached, they would accept me, no matter what the circumstance, and understand that their answers do not work in every single situation.

As the homily came to a close, the priest brought the married couples to the front. He renewed their vows, some 5 years old, some 15, one couple was creeping up on the big 4-0. As I watched these couples, both young and old, profess their love for one another for a second, or third time, and promise to each other that no matter what happens they would be there for their significant other, I realized that that is what it is all about. Love is not all candy canes and rainbows. There are struggles and hardships, accompanied by the most fulfilling and loving moments you will ever experience. We must take the good with the bad and understand that everyone’s life is not the same. Everyone deals with different situations in a different way and we can either accept it or ignore it. We are all human.

For all of those who are madly in love, I wish you all of the joys in the world.

And for the rest of us who just aren’t there yet, worry not, and have faith for your day will come.

Happy Valentine’s Day.