Climbing THE Wall

“Break into Perineum.” Xavier repeated to himself disbelievingly. The thought had never occurred to him before. His mother worked within the city, thus she and the other caretakers were given entry to the city through the gates North West of Abscond. But neither Xavier nor anyone who wasn’t a caretaker or perfect had ever been within the city. Not to mention that those who had, never seemed to want to recount what they had seen.

Xavier brought his attention to the white looming walls in front of him. How high were they? Eighty, ninety meters? Probably more, Xavier guessed. “Is it even possible to climb that high?” Xavier asked out loud, not hiding the skepticism within his voice. The walls were flawlessly smooth, providing no natural footing of any sorts. This made it practically impossible to climb them without proper equipment. And even then it would probably take them hours to reach the top, let alone go back down the other side.
“Well, no, it would be impossible normally,” the boy Xavier didn’t know said “but we aren’t planning on climbing the normal way.”
Xavier studied the boy shrewdly. Long black hair fell in strands to his shoulders, and small almond shaped black eyes shifted warily under big bushy eyebrows. His somewhat pointed nose reminded Xavier of a falcon’s beak.
“No, no we aren’t. And that’s why we need you Xavier.” Fin said giddily.
Fin was known to smile and laugh a lot, and to most, he did so at an eccentric level. But Xavier had never seen him so excited. “You need me to do what?” He asked warily. Xavier hadn’t made up his mind on whether he wanted to partake in one of Fin’s antics or not.
“We need you to do magic.” Eric said sheepishly; as he moved to stand next to Fin.
“Please don’t say ‘do’ magic, it sounds wrong,” the long haired boy said sounding annoyed.
“Oh let it go Sam. Just brief Xavier on the plan,” Fin said, then turning to Xavier, “It may not look like it, but Sam can do magic too!”
Xavier frowned and scrutinized Sam. Was it true? Could Sam really use magic like Xavier? Either way, whether true or not Xavier couldn’t tell. This disappointed him, he’d always thought that enchanters would have a different feel to them, something special, but then again, it explained why he’d never noticed any other enchanters.
“What plan?” He found himself asking.

Sam smiled, “Well, I actually climb these walls regularly. Maybe your friends haven’t told you, but I bring kids into Perineum on a regular basis. Of course, for a small fee that is.
“Normally, I take one kid up at a time, by levitating rocks in front of us like stairs. I can only take one person with me since levitating rocks and making sure we both don’t fall tends to take quite some concentration.” He added before pausing to throw a quick annoyed glance at Eric and Fin.

“However, Eric and Fin refuse to go up one at a time. And that’s where you come in.” Sam said expectantly, “What I need you to do is simple. While I levitate the rocks to form stairs, I need you to stop us from falling.”

Xavier stared blankly at Sam, “You want ME to make sure you guys don’t fall? I’ve never levitated anything other than a pebble, and you want me to catch you guys if you fall?” Xavier asked incredulously.

“You killed a bird with a pebble at twenty meters, surely you can stop us from falling,” Eric said, but Xavier could have sworn he’d heard a hint of disbelief in his voice.

“There’s that, and the fact that you don’t have to catch us as long as you don’t let us fall in the first place. You’re just going to help us balance. Here, I’ll show you.” Sam said heading towards the base of the wall where Fin sat patiently awaiting their departure.

Xavier followed Sam halfheartedly to a pile of stones scattered unceremoniously at the foot of the wall. There were eight of them, one for each of their feet he realized. Each rock was about as big as a small pillow and almost completely flat.

Sam stood next to one of the smaller stones facing Xavier. For a moment, nothing happened, and Sam simply stared blankly at him. But almost immediately, Xavier felt the air around him charge with energy. It was a small change, almost unnoticeable, making the air warmer, but Xavier felt it. And almost instantly, with Sam unmoving, the stone besides him silently floated up and off the ground, heading towards Xavier. It made its way smoothly in his direction, and when it reached him, it stopped, perched at about knee height.

“Get on,” Sam said reassuringly, and upon seeing Xavier’s doubtful look added, “I won’t let you fall.”

Xavier looked at the stone cautiously before he slowly placed his right foot on it. After testing whether it was indeed stable or not, he heaved his other leg as well as the rest of his body up as well. He wasn’t all that high, but both his feet just barely fit on the stone, making him sway a little.

“See, right now you’re a little off balanced,” Sam said as he took a step closer to Xavier, “But when I help you by stopping your leaning, you become stable.” And sure enough, when Sam got closer to Xavier, he had stopped swaying. It was as if an invisible hand, or force, was pushing him equally to the left as to the right, keeping him balanced.

“Do you think you can do that Xavier?” Eric, who’d been watching from the side asked.

“You wouldn’t have to balance all of us, I’d do Eric and myself, and you’d do it for Fin and yourself.” Sam added encouragingly.

Xavier tried to reason with himself. He could probably do it if he concentrated, and he had Sam as a safety net to catch Fin just in case. Xavier knew all too well that what scared him wasn’t the climb, but what lay on the other side of the wall. More cadaverras? Worse? If Xavier entered the layer of the perfects, he could easily be found out. ‘But then again,’ he thought to himself, ‘Sam had said that he had entered the city a number of times, and Sam hadn’t been caught, so how would he?’

In the end, curiosity won over fear. “I’m not one-hundred percent sure I can, but I’ll give it a try.” Xavier said.

“Finally! I thought we’d never go! Now come on, do your magic thing Sam, and let’s go check out the biggest and most luxurious city in Valore!” Fin said jumping up and down in emphasis.

“Alright Fin calm down. We’ve got all day.” Sam said rolling his eyes, “First things first though, we need to agree on a climbing formation. I propose we climb in this order, me in front, then Eric, then Fin, then Xavier. We’ll be going up at an angle, so it should only take us about half an hour.

“The only real important detail to bring to your attention would be that since we only have eight stones, I’ll have to move the last stone in line to the front each time we take a step. Meaning once you’re securely on the second to last stone Xavier, I’d like you to whistle so I know it’s safe to move the last stone up the line.”
Xavier nodded his understanding as he jumped off his makeshift pedestal. Sam turned his attention to the other seven stones piled up by the foot of the wall. Xavier felt that same change in the air around him as the seven stones simultaneously rose from the ground and rearranged themselves into single file. They smoothly made their way to the stone Xavier had been standing on. Lining themselves up in accordance to the first stone, they proceeded to ascend above it.
When they finally came to a stop, the stones were still aligned, but hovering at different heights. The lowest of which happened to be the one closest to Xavier, and the highest of which was the furthest from him. Altogether, to Xavier’s amazement, they formed a set of stairs leading up the wall.
Wordlessly, Sam stepped onto the first stone and made his way to the last, making sure to keep one foot on the one below it. Eric followed somewhat anxiously, then so did Fin, seemingly undaunted.
Xavier was the last one onto the hovering staircase. He kept one foot on the last and another on the second to last stone, distributing his weight equally to each leg. He was swaying, and so was Fin, though considerably less. Xavier took a deep breath, the climb would be impossible without magic to stabilize them. He finally decided to start with himself.
He closed his eyes and decided to go with something simple but efficient. He pictured a pair of hands, large hands that would latch around him, and support him. He worked on their form within the dark recesses of his mind, smoothing them out, scaling them to fit his body. He worked on the hands like a baker with dough. He messed them up a couple of times, and even forgot their shape entirely once, but after sometime, they had become quite vivid to him, and he was finally pleased with their shape.

He directed them to his sides, making them exert equal amounts of pressure to both sides of him. It took a couple of adjustments, and he nearly knocked himself off the stone a couple of times, but much to his own amazement, he was finally able to balance himself. He could actually feel a small force around him, not too tight, almost as though it were cradling him.
Xavier opened his eyes and looked at Fin in front of him. It would be a little trickier this time. He had to continuously feed energy and direct the invisible hands that held him, as well as create a new pair for Fin.

It took longer, and this time he felt a small burning sensation in his head as he separated his conscious to support both tasks at once. But he was able to picture similar large hands around Fin, stabilizing him. It took a moment for him to do both at once, both tasks pushing for his attention, but he was soon able to direct both set of hands at once. And much to Xavier’s relief, Fin’s movements became less jerky.

Finally, his face furrowed in concentration, Xavier moved both his feet to the second to last stone and whistled. Instantly, the stone Xavier had been standing on zipped at an alarming speed to the front of the line, and everybody moved up one step. Xavier whistled again, and the same process occurred.
They started out slow as they got used to the rhythm, but within a couple of minutes they were completing the whole cycle fast enough that they moved at walking speed.
Their ascent went without hitches, like a well-oiled machine they climbed the stairs, Xavier whistling with each step. They gained altitude quickly, and soon they were higher than the lower trees within the forest that surrounded them.
As they surfaced from the canopy of evergreen trees, Xavier chanced a look around them. They were cushioned between Perineum’s walls to their left, and a large extent of forest to their right. Xavier could almost see all of Abscond. The roof of his school stood out not too far away, a gray smudge on its roof that Xavier could only assume was Black; he could even see the fields and the general area Marc hunted in.

Judging from where the sun was in the sky, Xavier guessed it wasn’t even noon. They were making good time he thought, even though the wall was even higher than he had predicted. They weren’t even halfway up, but their pace seemed to accelerate as they went higher.

“HOW ARE YOU DOING XAVIER?” Sam shouted from the front. There was a strong wind blowing, not strong enough to knock them off, but strong enough to make it hard to hear.

“ALRIGHT I GUESS. I THINK I’M GETTING THE HANG OF IT.” Xavier shouted back. He wasn’t lying, it felt as though his mind was getting used to executing both actions at once. It was as if his mind had been made for multitasking, but just hadn’t been broken in yet.

Finally being able to think of something other than balancing Fin and himself, he felt a strong urge to question Sam on his magical ability. Xavier wondered what the limits of Sam’s powers might be, and whether they were his limits too. Just that morning, Xavier had only been able to move small objects telekinetically, and now he was able to affect living beings.
“HEY SAM? COULDN’T YOU JUST LEVITATE US TO THE TOP AT ONCE?” Fin asked as if reading Xavier’s mind.

“EASY FOR YOU TO SAY, DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW HIGH THIS WALL IS? I CAN JUST BARELY LEVITATE MYSELF FIFTY CENTIMETERS OFF THE GROUND,” Sam retorted sounding annoyed.

“THE HEAVIER THE OBJECT, THE LESS THE DISTANCE I CAN COVER AT ONCE. SO I COULD INFACT LEVITATE US, BUT WE’D GO UP LIKE, MAYBE TEN CENTIMETERS EACH MINUTE. I’D PROBABLY END UP DROPPING YOU AND MYSELF TO OUR DEATHS IN THE END.” He added matter of factly.

They reached a point in altitude where the wind had died down, making it easier to hear, much to Xavier’s relief. “Can you do anything other than telekinesis?” Xavier asked after a moment of beautiful silence.

Sam looked at Xavier then back up front, seemingly in thought. “No, not really; but then again, I’ve never actually tried doing anything other than telekinesis.” Sam said thoughtfully, “What about you?” He added after a long pause.

Xavier didn’t answer at once; there was something he could do or at least believed he could do that would be qualified as magic. But he wasn’t sure whether it would work or not. Xavier decided to give it a go anyway.

He glared intently at Sam, pushing the other two tasks at hand to the back of his mind. They weren’t gone, but out of sight. He could still feel the slight tug on his mind of supporting Fin and he.

He slowly formed four words within his mind, repeating them to himself. Then when he was ready, he flung them at Sam mentally.

“Can you hear me?” Xavier said, or rather thought to Sam.

“What?” Eric said stopping abruptly, making Fin bump into him and Xavier into Fin.

“What’s the problem?” Sam asked looking back quizzically.

“It’s Xavier, I heard his voice in my head. He said ‘Can……me?’ Or something like that.” Eric said looking back at him.

“Sorry, I was, well, testing out telepathy,” Xavier said feeling rather embarrassed, “I was actually trying to talk to Sam.”

“I heard it too.” Fin, who had been relatively quiet said, “But I heard, ‘Can you hear……..?’ Though the words I heard were quite clear.” He added almost encouragingly.
“Well I for one heard nothing, but then again, the first time I tried to move all eight stones at once, they exploded. So I can imagine how hard it is.” Sam said restarting their climb up the wall.
It wasn’t until after quite some time later that anyone spoke again. And it was just Sam proposing they take a break. Just as he said it, the stones that Xavier, Fin, and Eric had been standing on lifted up to match the height of that of Sam’s. But what bewildered Xavier was Sam’s proposal to ‘sit’ on the stones. Yet, they had.
They were more or less halfway up the wall Xavier remarked. His legs swung under him at a height he knew all too well would instantly kill him if he were to fall. It was peaceful up there though, and Xavier loved it, the scenery, the fresh air, it made him want to stay there all day.
“So how in the world haven’t you and Xavier been caught yet Sam?” Fin asked, his whole upper body hanging from his seat. It scared Xavier how undaunted Fin was by everything. Xavier could use magic, yet he didn’t dare do anything as bold as what Fin was doing. But maybe it was because he could use magic, and could somewhat feel his limits that he feared to do so.
Sam shrugged almost indifferently, “Luck I guess? Maybe cunning? I just stick tend to stick to the crowd’s quite frankly, and I try to blend in best I can.” He said blatantly.
“But I thought cadaverras can sense you guys.”

“Well yes, yes they can. At least those who haven’t learned to hide that is.”

“Yeah but how do you hide what you are?”

“Brother, don’t ask questions you won’t understand the answer to.” Sam said somewhat pointedly.

“I think they just disappear.” Eric said in the silence that had followed.

Fin snorted, “So telepathy, telekinesis, and invisibility, no wonder we were slaughtered.”
“No, I didn’t mean it literally. It’s just that sometimes, Xavier could be standing next to me, and I could even be looking right at him, but it doesn’t feel like he’s actually there.”

“Sounds screwed up.”

“Feels screwed up, like your talking to a ghost.”
“You do know I can hear you.” Xavier said angrily. It had annoyed him that Eric had agreed with Fin on him being screwed up. Xavier didn’t choose to have to hide all his life, and he in no means wanted to be a ghost. The whole point actually, was for him to avoid being killed and turned into one.

“I’m just saying how it feels like Xavy.” Eric said softly. ‘Xavy’ was what Eric called him whenever he was trying to pacify Xavier. But it usually just ended up annoying him more.

“Sorry, I forgot that you can’t stop yourself from blabbering.”

“You’re still mad that I told Fin, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m really happy that there is one more way I could be discovered.” Xavier said sardonically.

“I won’t tell anybody Xavier, you have to trust me.” Fin said looking straight at him.
Sam laughed derisively, “Whether you open your mouth or not doesn’t matter. You’re just a human, and a kid at that. The perfects can do whatever they want with you, and get whatever they want from you.” He said smugly.

“We’re both ‘just humans’ Sam, enchanter or not.” Eric said annoyed.

“I suppose you can get us the rest of the way up? I mean we’re both humans right? We’re both the same as you say.” Sam said snidely.

“Stop thinking that you’re superior to us. We bleed and die just the same.”

“I don’t think I’m superior. I am superior, and so is Xavier, and any other enchanters.”

“Don’t group Xavier along with yourself, you’re nothing alike.” Eric snapped heatedly.

Sam shrugged indifferently, “If you want to keep thinking yourself as Xavier’s equal, then by all means, do as you please. But you’ll eventually realize that your world and his are completely different. By then you’ll have completely drifted apart.”

“We get your point Sam. You’re better than us, fine, whatever, I really don’t care. But remember that even if you can use telekinesis or telepathy or whatnot, the fact stays the same; you’ll never be a perfect. And when you aren’t a perfect, you might as well be nothing more than a cockroach, human and enchanter alike. ” Fin said sharply.

Fin and Sam glared at each other intensely. It didn’t shock Xavier, Fin and Sam were in no ways even close to being alike. In normal circumstances, they probably would have steered right clear of each other. Their personalities just didn’t match, Fin was a jovial, mischievous, and naïve kid, while Sam was reserved, and serious. They were bound to get into each other’s face from time to time.
Xavier thought it best to change the subject, “It’s nearly noon, if we want to have time to check out Perineum and get home before curfew, we best keep going.” He said tentatively. Xavier was aware that the argument in some way concerned him, but he preferred to be a spectator when it came to confrontations.

Sam stood, reluctantly breaking eye contact with an angered Fin. “You paid for a tour of Perineum, so you’ll get a tour of Perineum; even if I’m not too fond of you.”

As they regained their climbing formation, Xavier found himself wondering what exactly had been Sam’s fee. Whatever it was, it should have been doubled. He not only had to carry his passengers up and over the huge walls ensuring their safety, but he also had to take all of their sass and prejudice they might have. All the while resisting the urge to drop them in annoyance and or probably, sheer fatigue.

On that note, Xavier realized his own vulnerability. He was who knew how high up in the sky, with only Sam’s power between him and an instant death below. Xavier thus decided to be nicer towards Sam, at least until he was safely back on firm ground. And hopefully in one piece too.
It had to have been at least one hour after noon when Xavier finally spotted the top of the wall. It was still a ways off, but Xavier could see where the thick white stone mass to their left ended abruptly to give way to light blue sky.

He had expected there to have been more than just a flat surface at the top of the walls; towers where perfects watched Abscond from? Or maybe pathways allowing sentries to patrol the wall for any possible invaders; but as they came closer and closer, it became apparent that the walls simply ended as flat stumps.

There climb came to a slow stop as their staircase finally matched the height of the wall to their left. Xavier couldn’t see over the walls from where he was, but he could almost swear that he heard noises. He took a glance below them; it’s a long way down, he thought to himself.

Sam was taking shallow breaths, and the first few signs of fatigue showed on his face. Xavier knew that carrying them must have been extenuating. They had been hovering for an hour at most, not thirty minutes like Sam had predicted.

“Why are we stopping? We’re nearly there!” Fin said impatiently fidgeting on his stone, making Xavier’s job just a little bit harder than it already was.

“Just catching my breath,” Sam said submissively. He took a couple more breaths before he closed his eyes in concentration.

Gently, the stone Xavier stood on, as well as those Fin and Eric were on rose to join Sam’s. Just as Xavier’s stone came to a stop next to the others, the remaining unoccupied stones fell. They plummeted to the ground as if they’d just been reminded of the existence of gravity.

“How are we going to climb down the other side?” Xavier asked concerned.
Sam shook his head slowly, “We won’t need them.” He said in a small voice.

As soon as Sam had stopped talking, Xavier’s stone as well as those the others stood on moved forwards to meet the wall. There wasn’t that big a distance to cover; they had hugged the wall throughout their whole climb. When he was close enough, Xavier stepped onto the wall in front of him, and his stone plummeted just as its brethren had.

“We’re finally at the top! It’s time to see what the perfects have been hiding from us!” Fin said, already heading to the other side of the wide wall. Eric trailed not too far behind him, apparently still fuming from the argument he’d had. Sam stood with his hands on his knees, taking deep gulps of air right at the edge of the wall.

“Are you alright?’ Xavier asked.

“The longer it takes; the more energy used,” he said slowly, “At four, we moved at a slower pace then I’m used to, but I’ll be fine. Go look at Perineum.”

Xavier gave him one more dubious look before following the others. Eric and Fin stood across from them, right at the other edge of the wall. They both stared wide eyed towards the ground, Fin muttering under his breath with a frivolous smile on his face, while Eric looked dumbfounded.

As Xavier neared them, Eric turned to face him looking sheepish, “Well, for one, they’re definitely richer than us.”

Xavier walked to stand next to his brother and took a tentative look over the wall. The first thing he saw was trees. Directly below them there seemed to be some sort of forest that gave way to a clearing of sorts. ‘Maybe a park?’ He thought to himself. The trees had white leaves tinged in a florescent baby blue with dark black trunks extending below them. The grass on the other hand was a dark blue seemingly highlighted purple. There were glimpses of large silver objects or contraptions spread out throughout the clearing.

As stunning as the park might have been, it wasn’t that which caused Xavier to gasp. Beyond the park, partially hidden from view by drifting clouds was a shining city that spread out in every direction for as far as the naked eye could see. Perineum was huge, and even that was an understatement. The city was immense, and judging from what Xavier could see, it probably spanned a large portion of the whole country. It was impossible to see the other side.

Xavier was entranced by the colors of the city as well as the shapes and sizes of the various buildings. Of course from this height he couldn’t see much, but what he saw was nevertheless breathtaking. From what he could tell, just about every building was made of what Xavier presumed were tiles. The tile colors were mainly peach or brown, but Xavier saw that some individual buildings were distinct colors, like black or red or green. The buildings themselves varied in shape, but they seemed to be organized according to style. There were one story buildings with domed roofs, while others had caved in roofs. Other buildings spiraled like towers, while others had pointed structures. Although each building seemed to have their own shade of peach or brown, it seemed that those within the same area, had roofs of the same color. The closest group of buildings to the park had blood red tiled roofs.

Xavier could now clearly hear the cacophony of large crowds, music, and the cry of animals he couldn’t possibly identify. It all seemed unreal to him, but he found himself excited at the prospect of entering the city.

“Welcome to Perineum, please keep your voices down, and your identity hidden” Sam said, seemingly having recovered if only a little.
“Let’s start climbing down already!” Fin said at once.
“We’re not going to climb down,” Sam said almost drowsily.
“Then how are we getting down?” Xavier asked perplexed. Even he was getting impatient it seemed.
Sam sighed, “We’re going to jump down.” He said passively.
Xavier stared at Sam incredulously. There was no way they would survive such a jump, and yet Xavier hadn’t heard any sarcasm in what Sam had said.
“Jump?” Eric asked warily.
Sam nodded slowly. “I do this all the time. I’ll jump first and use my telekinesis to stop me from being splattered. Then I’ll catch you individually as you jump down.”
“And what if you don’t catch us?” Eris asked.
Sam shrugged, “I’ve never dropped anybody before.”
“That doesn’t mean it won’t happen today.”
“You can just stay if you want.”
“Why don’t we use the stairs again?”
“Too slow, and too much energy.”
“Do we really have to do it this way? Isn’t there another option?”
Sam didn’t answer that time, he simply walked to the edge of the wall, “Count to thirty when I pass the canopy of trees below, then one of you jumps,” Sam said pointing down at the park, “I’d recommend Xavier first though.”
“Why?” Fin asked sounding disappointed.
“I’m a little tired, I might not be able to stop myself and end up dead. Between the three of you, Xavier has the best chance to survive the fall without me and somehow warn you not to jump.”
Xavier nodded to himself, it did make sense. But for a second time Xavier wondered what Sam was paid that would persuade him to play with his own life as so.
Sam had closed his eyes and was holding his hands out to his sides, after a long pause, he opened his eyes and said, “I recommend you don’t scream.”
And with that, to Xavier’s amazed horror, Sam jumped off the edge of the wall. One minute there, the next, gone. He plummeted like a rock, falling quickly. But much to Xavier’s astonishment, no sound seemed to emerge from him. As he speedily descended the wall, Sam’s figure became nothing but a small blurred dot.
His hair flying behind him, Sam crashed through the canopy of trees below at a gut wrenching speed. “That was way too fast.” Eric said sounding weak.
Xavier had started counting and now stepped to the edge of the wall. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Had Sam survived? Was Xavier about to plunge to his death? Twenty-two. Twenty-three. Xavier’s heart beat hard, his mouth was dry and he was aware of his legs shaking.
“That was too fast Xavier, I don’t think……..Maybe you shouldn’t….” Eric said trying to grab Xavier.
Xavier dodged his grip. Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. “It’s the only way down; I’m not powerful enough to do anything else.”
Eric was about to say something else, but it was too late. Thirty, he thought firmly. Xavier’s body seemed to move on its own. He slightly bent his knees and pushed off the edge of the wall keeping his hands at his sides and his eyes firmly shut.
Xavier freefell. The effect was instant. He felt a tingle make its way from the tip of his toes throughout his body as he fought not to scream. His stomach did a front flip as sudden weightlessness engulfed him. He knew he was falling fast, he could hear the air screaming past his ears. His arms and legs flailed wildly, and even with all of his effort, he couldn’t help but release a loud moan of terror. His heart beat a mile a minute as the wind tore at his clothes. He felt the strong stinging of leaves as he crashed through the canopy, but he didn’t stop, didn’t slow down. Sam hadn’t made it. Xavier would die. But then, as Xavier thought he couldn’t help but scream, his fall was stopped abruptly. The stop had been so abrupt that his body had jerked forwards hard, and his insides had squirmed.
Suddenly Xavier was aware of a soothing voice below him reassuring him; “Calm down Xavier, I’ve got you. You won’t fall, it’s alright. It’s over now.”
Xavier opened his eyes and saw Sam staring at him worriedly only five meters below. Xavier stared at him perplexed at the worry he saw in his eyes. It wasn’t until Xavier had been lowered to the ground, and had reached to wipe grime from his face that he realized that he had been crying.