The Longest Goodbye

I was finally able to write this piece after living through 7 years of guilt.

You sat there watching me

As I rushed around the house

Tossing things into boxes

With a look on your face...

"uh oh... mom's being silly again"

A quick phone call or two

None being the right one

No "don't do it - don't go - you'll be sorry"

 

Would it have mattered?

Would I have listened by then?

 

You watched the car pull up

A man takes the boxes

Frozen tears fall from the sky

Blending with my own.

I bend down to hug and kiss you

"Be a good girl - Mommy loves you"

And the car takes me away.

 

How long did you sit

Watching out the window

For my return

Before you realized

I wasn't coming back?

What went through your mind?

 

But... I did come back after 4 months

Only for awhile.

Seeing you realize

It was me.

Bending down so you could smother me

With kisses all over my face.

Funny how, out of everyone

You were the happiest to see me.

 

Then I was gone again.

But I did come back...

And you were gone.

Never again would I see you

Except in my dreams.

 

I'm sorry.

 

 

Author's Note

As if it wasn't hard enough writing this in Aug '07... it was almost as hard re-typing it now... amazing how the tears can flow.

Reviews

[Fantasyfairy]

I have been bought to tears! If you knew me, then you would know that isn't something that happens often. Such a beautiful poem. I thought at first it was about a child, then I got to the end and discovered it was a baby still, just not a human one. Animals are the hardest to leave behind because there is no way of ever explaining why you have to leave them, and that you will not be back for a while. Such a shame you had to lose her completely. They love with such devotion, unconditional love, and they never lie or pretend to like you when they don't. XX

[Chantal-lise Mirman]

What a poignantly heartbreaking poem! There doesn't seem to be a dry eye in the house... and what a beautiful dog! Where else can we truly get unconditional love, what we all so desperately want? Our pets really make us evaluate our choices, as we cannot possibly shift the blame to them. You laid out your story carefully, one layer after another, building the emotion until we got a crystal clear picture of what had happened. More than a dog, more than a friend, she was an emblem of who you have chosen to be - like the Native American totems. She will always be part of you and you WILL see her again.Excellent work (she mumbled, blubbering) and going into my favorites.

[Alba T.]

This is beautifully written, My dad had a dog, Butch, and I loved him so, but when my dad died, Butch became ill and a little over a month later Butch had to be put to sleep. I missed him and wish I could had done something. Thanks for this beautiful piece.

[Bubo]

Such a sadness to this piece, beautifully written.

[Yvonne Heidt]

It's hard to type with tears running down my face. I lost an adult child last year - and that started it - then I saw the picture of the dog. And I couldn't stop tearing.

Good writing will pull emotions from the reader. You accomplished that!

Great job!

[Anata]

Heartbreaking, really.
This is a wonderful tribute to your dog!
Dogs, and actually, any kind of pet grow to be our children. It is always hard to part from someone, and it is even harder to loose someone. Be it human or animal.
Tears sprung into my eyes when reading this.
Sorry to hear this happened to you.

[Helen Woodward]

Oh!!! Nothing has upset me this much for some time Arlene... My husband died last year (suddenly) and our dog still waits at the door for him to come home! This made me so sad, I wish I had known the content because I wouldn't have read it...It is beautifully written...too beautiful, that's my problem...

[S. P. Vaporis]

so hard to let go but sometimes they just cant stay. nice emotiona; piece!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

This has me in tears.. so heartfelt.. and im sorry too .. i was thinking of a child of course.. but your precious pet.. Mine was killed a year ago August 2... still miss her and wish she were here.
This is sad yet beautiful.. shows how animals love us uncondionally.

Chloe
xoxo

[THE BLACK SEAL]

so sad really but it does touch on emotions so it is good