The Longest Goodbye

I was finally able to write this piece after living through 7 years of guilt.

You sat there watching me

As I rushed around the house

Tossing things into boxes

With a look on your face...

"uh oh... mom's being silly again"

A quick phone call or two

None being the right one

No "don't do it - don't go - you'll be sorry"

 

Would it have mattered?

Would I have listened by then?

 

You watched the car pull up

A man takes the boxes

Frozen tears fall from the sky

Blending with my own.

I bend down to hug and kiss you

"Be a good girl - Mommy loves you"

And the car takes me away.

 

How long did you sit

Watching out the window

For my return

Before you realized

I wasn't coming back?

What went through your mind?

 

But... I did come back after 4 months

Only for awhile.

Seeing you realize

It was me.

Bending down so you could smother me

With kisses all over my face.

Funny how, out of everyone

You were the happiest to see me.

 

Then I was gone again.

But I did come back...

And you were gone.

Never again would I see you

Except in my dreams.

 

I'm sorry.

 

 

Author's Note

As if it wasn't hard enough writing this in Aug '07... it was almost as hard re-typing it now... amazing how the tears can flow.

Reviews

[Fantasyfairy]

I have been bought to tears! If you knew me, then you would know that isn't something that happens often. Such a beautiful poem. I thought at first it was about a child, then I got to the end and discovered it was a baby still, just not a human one. Animals are the hardest to leave behind because there is no way of ever explaining why you have to leave them, and that you will not be back for a while. Such a shame you had to lose her completely. They love with such devotion, unconditional love, and they never lie or pretend to like you when they don't. XX

[Sarah]

I love the unique way that this was written, full of description of the tiniest details - such as the boxes and rain - that make this situation so real. It was heart-breaking and a beautiful read. Great job. =)

[Deepshikha]

Awww...I could feel the pain in your words, and all the emotions coursing through...
Animals are the only ones that can love you without barriers...
T_T
=]

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

Wow, this is such a tearful write... so heartfelt and our emotions were very very well expressed... How amazing our pets can truly be... I know that i will never forget any of my past pets... This is so sad yet a beautiful poem... Wonderfully expressed... how hard that must be... Great job!

[Sandra Rains DeBusk]

This, my friend, is beautiful. I feel your guilt....

[Disa Sig]

Beautiful piece! Makes one think of the creatures that love us so much but have no words to express it.

And I just know in my childish heart that we join our pets when we follow them in death.

[Ari]

Absolutely beautiful. Reading it the first time through, I liked some bits and some didn't quite work for me, but then I saw the picture at the bottom and re-read it. Absolutely beautiful. It strikes me that this is a situation that many of us go through, but not very many of us try to write about. It seems as though it would be too trite, but you've done a great job with it.

[Robert Luna]

As an animal especially a dog lover this drove a spike into my heart. When I went through a divorce I had to leave my dogs with my ex until I could get a place. By the time I got them back they were nothing more than skin and bones even though I was giving her money each week to buy their food. It was it her way of getting back at me for not taking her back. Just shows you the type of person she was.


Well Done!!!!!!

[pal]

'How long did you sit
Watching out the window
For my return
Before you realized
I wasn't coming back?
What went through your mind?'

Nothing be ever said, all left to readers' imagination..

Thank you for sharing with me
pal

[Ms Jessica Renee]

Usually I do my best not to get emotional but this poem brought tears to my eyes and when I realized who this had been written for, it made me think. You did a brilliant job. I hope it lessened some of the guilt, if only just a little.

[keoieid]

This is something I can relate to. And I cried all over again, knowing exactly how it was.