My Other Half I've Supressed

As I frolicked about all night with my friends as a child,

I never imagined what responsibility was to be laid upon my shoulders, nowhere close to mild.

It was to rise up beyond the masses that yearned glory and fame

But felt just short, for their efforts were just as lame.

 

But I don’t know why you like to compare me, dishearten me with all your jibes,

I’ll do what I have to, I don’t need your lectures you deliver out of ‘concern’, spare me, pardon me from all that you describe as unexpected vibes.

I never can fathom, why you overlooked me as I am, as you want to see, clad in my superficial self,

And rather accuse me for my half I’ve supressed, kept tucked away out of grasp, within my heart, on some desolate shelf.

 

Why you see the result, and not the efforts I’ve put in,

What all I sacrificed, to rise out over and above this deafening din?

How I got to the point I now stand at,

The point that you had always just dreamed of achieving just stared longingly at other people getting at.

 

You see my suppressed half that seeks merriment,

You bar me, want me locked up, leashed, bound and chained, toiling, forgetting enjoyment.

Don’t give me this excuse, that you’ve cared for me all along,

But how can you rid me of my suspicions, that you’ve held my hands all along, not to guide me, but to ensure my presence among the multitudes, as all around they throng.

 

Why do you overlook my best performance, that turned out second best?

You think I do it willingly? that I enjoy finishing last, behind the rest?

I didn’t just try, didn’t just put my heart and soul into my work, all solid and firm,

Even as you held me in your palm, at your mercy, to writh helplessly and squirm.

 

Why do you try to dig out my past, the time I wasted in pursuits I wanted to achieve, my ambitions?

That didn’t turn out to be my present goals, my aspirations.

Why do you accuse me of harbouring my half that I’ve suppressed, that longs for freedoms and luxuries I’ve never yet enjoyed?

You’ve lived your life as you deemed fit, you can never ask me to abandon it, have it destroyed.

 

I just thank the Gods for my parents, who never took me just at my face value, my actions,

That appeared somewhat too liberal, too bold, to violent,

Who realized they were my ways to vent out my anger, my frustration, that my shoulders have borne thus far, with protests, beyond silent.

That this pressure upon me, is just a reaction; to the burdens I never yet protested carrying,

But how can I go about, someone else’s dreams ferrying?

 

They saw my true half, that no one else ever even imagined I could harbour, the patriot within me,

That had patiently been bearing along thus far, all along, yearning to be free.

I don’t think anyone could have seen it, no one could ever have guessed,

That beyond my wild, arrogant nature, it was my real half, my other half that I’ve supressed.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we accept the burdens of life, of a relationship....and we can only hope the other will support us and not attack us and belittle us...
a prosy poem with a strong effect here.
j.

[Arjun Singh]

That's really helpful sir, thanks a load..!!

[Lydia Shutter]

A very emotive piece. Honest. Lydi*

[Arjun Singh]

Appreciate it... thnk u.... :)

[Divya]

Voh!!!! A teenage voice . Beautifully written Arjun. Your voice is voice of many youths. Vocabulary is also very gud. Keep it up champ!!

[Arjun Singh]

Thnk u, Divya!!! :)

[andrew mitchell]

Yes a raw emotional; write that bleeds! Frustration plus!

[Arjun Singh]

Thnx a lot!

[sereenaoutloud]

this is so very raw and honest. You can here the frustration throughout the write!!
Brilliant Arjun!

[Arjun Singh]

Thnx a lot Sereena........needed it! :)

[sereenaoutloud]

your welcome my friend! :)

[Solitaireman]

Man, you have packed a lot of emotion into this one. This is something every writer needs to do. Put a little of themselves into their work. Good job.

[Arjun Singh]

Thnx a looooot sir!!!!!