Converting to the Dark

A very short story, more or less a few paragraphs that represents what it is to forget and destroy all good and let darkness and evil take over you.

"Close your eyes." Cold hands rake down the back of my mind, sending rushing rivers of silver jealousy through my body.

"Don't think. Feel." The rivers wrap around me, tightening and tightening until there is nothing of the golden warmth of an open heart left in me.

"Forget." Dead leaves flutter and fill my being, settling down is the uneven layer of sinful pleasure.

"Now remember." The leaves brush away the soft coating of compassion, wind wipping it out from my soul and to forever forgotten lands.

"Breathe." Great vines and weeds of grasping power grip at my heart, torturing it and injecting it with poisonous pride.

"Kill." The vines fill my entire body, suffocating the once radiating and beautiful flowers of the humble mind.

"Torture." Cut teeth tear at my weakened skin, replacing it with a sickly layer of deadly despair.

"Ignore." It covers me, devouring and disintigrating the once clean and perfect hope.

"Strangle." Rushing lava falls upon me, destroying and replacing with the horrid ash of blame.

"Stab." The ash covers and destroys the once fields of lively green forgivness.

"Drown." The vast darkness of space and time inself envelopes me, suffocating, crushing, killing and in my place giving hate.

"Disapear." The blackness devours the once radiant, beautiful, light giving star of love.

 

"Welcome. To the dark."

Author's Note

Enjoy.

Reviews

[Thea Fuentebella]

I DID ENJOY READING THIS. thanks for sharing!
100/100

[Roger Morrison]

wow, great form and description. A hopeless descent into the darkness of one's mind, the death of youthful innocence and bliss. That's what it seems like, at least. Either way, I loved it. Relates very well to what we've been talking about.

[Edeline Wrigh]

I enjoy the imagery you've invoked in the narrative, and preceding this imagery with the one to three words in quotations is very effective. Overall, the piece is intriguing.

It'd be interesting to play around with the format of the lines. Although your punctuation provides a sense of rhythm, it could be manipulated further with more/different line breaks. Furthermore, do watch for grammatical consistency if that's what you're going for; the line "settling down is the uneven layer of sinful pleasure" changes the flow, since that, unlike the other phrases, is a complete sentence. (Another line that changes this flow is "The ash covers and destroys the once fields of lively green forgiv[e]ness.")