I'm An Introvert

A Story by Aries1984

If you are an introvert like me, you may relate to some of this. The most important thing is to be proud. And always BE YOU!

Hi! My name is Olga Levin, and I'm an introvert. I'm also an Aries, so keep that in mind.

I'm probably one of the most uncomplicated complicated, perfectly imperfect people you'll ever meet. Or have met. Living in a noisy world full of people who are constantly trying to figure me out, I am a person who has many interests and like anyone else out there, I have my own personal beliefs, motto's, values and opinions.

I love history, science, and music with a passion, yet I'm a Christian who majored in Psychology. A subject, to some, known as a liberal art which should have no interest in the mind of a person of faith. Due to more than one personal experience in my childhood, I also believe in the paranormal. This, to some people, probably makes me sound strange or weird.

Being an introvert, means that I have the classic characteristics of an introvert. I enjoy being alone. Not only do I enjoy being alone, I PREFER to be alone. The extroverted world thinks I'm "antisocial" among other things. The truth is, I'm not antisocial. In fact many of my friends know that I am a people loving person. I can be funny, I can be serious, I'm an emotional person, I love to share things about myself with others.

Although I am not antisocial, being an introvert also comes with some challenges, obstacles, whatever you want to call it. In the past few years I have learned that I may possibly have some social anxiety. Parties drain me, and in fact the last two parties I went to a few years back, my blood pressure went up, prompting me to leave early. Strangely enough, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't invite me to events. When time and money (if money should be involved that is) permits me, I may still attend, but won't be there for very long.

Another obstacle that is true of me (but not all introverts) I have slowly come to make peace with being shy. There! I said it! I don't feel comfortable meeting new people. Chances are that you'll probably never notice that about me, chances are you'll be like, "But I saw you talking to that new person" after I tell you that I'm really shy.

Me being uncomfortable with meeting new people sometimes results in an awkward situation where I'll get into a conversation with said new person via some kind of a social verbal hook without properly introducing myself. That's like 10% of the time. Rest of the 90% of the time I just avoid coming up to new people and feel more comfortable taking the observatory approach on that end. So I'm not trying to be rude, give me some time and eventually I'll overcome the shyness, and once I do, you'll notice that's when I really open up.

The challenges above are some things I face internally when it comes to dealing with the extroverted world at work. Although working in a bookstore is a bit easier with the social feel that accompany bookstores, the challenge is when new workers show up that I have to get used to. One other challenge I face daily is making time for friends in my life to show them that I do care about them. The thought of that kind of overwhelms me, but that is something that I'm trying to change, and hopefully, now that I am out of school I'll be able to make some time for my friends. Even if it just means going out for coffee.

Me being an introvert also means that I'm a private type of a person. Intimacy is gold to me. This is why I prefer to hang out with people one on one. There's certain things that may be socially acceptable in extroverted circles that to me are personal. If I open up to you about something that to me is personal, please don't betray that trust. In fact when I open up about something personal should say that I trust you. The fact that I trust you should already tell you that your friendship means something to me even though I may not see you face to face every day.

So to the extroverted people out there who don't understand us introverts, who have all these misguided perceptions of us, let me just say this. I prefer to be alone because I know that I really am not alone. When I read a book alone in my room or on my break at work, my mind is engaged in a fictional battle or some kind of drama between the characters. When I go on long bike rides on my own or evening walks on my own, mother nature accompanies me. I am able to get in tune with my creative side through photography or writing. Even when I have headphones in my ears while walking or riding, a certain song can remind me of a certain moment from a walk or a bike ride.

An example of that is when one early morning I was walking to work and I was listening to Phosphorescent's song called Song For Zula while in front of me was this beautiful sunrise. Every time I listen to that song right now, it reminds me of that early morning walk to work. I have a deep appreciation for the creation around me.

Lastly, I'm not afraid of being alone. But I know a few extroverted people who are absolutely terrified at the thought of being alone. And it kind of makes me wonder what exactly about being alone scares some extroverted people?