sprigs

markedly...

the difference between the blue

of your eyes and mine

is in the way you smile

with your whole face buried deep

in the joy i am

compartmentalized

sometimes smiling only

with my eyes lit

like a christmas tree

you are when you

amuse yourself

mountains of tiny molehills

the happiness represents

what could be what i know will

transpire beyond

the field out there

somewhere

we meet and agree upon

the future

your hands

my hips

your mouth

my hands

mint...

Reviews

[Caleb Pendleton]

It's good. This is a style very close to my own but to be honest I have written something so straight-forward in a long time. That being said, you lost me several times where transitions to new "sentences" were a bit too abrupt or jarring. The big one I speak of is between lines 4 and 5. I would work beginning of 5 into line 4 or work the end of line 4 into a new line or line 5. Otherwise, the combination of visual imagery and quiet discovery brings the reader intimately in touch with your feelings and experiences. I look forward to your other work.