Heroine

Heroine

A Poem by ArielForever98

Heroine
White Lady
Black Tar
Scag
Chasing
the beautiful
Dragon
would it be
all so bad
would it be
all that hard
to forget her
for a little bit
and leave
the memories
and live
for a few hours
and transform
to someone
who is fine
with all that
is going
so
wrong?

© 2015 ArielForever98


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The other reviewer liked the arrangement of the lines, but I find it confusing and a bit off putting. I couldn't sense any rhythm after 3 re-reads. That being said, the content itself isn't of bad. I would tell you to rework the presentation, but perhaps it's a stylistic choice that some can appreciate and im missing out on?

Posted 9 Years Ago


ArielForever98

9 Years Ago

Thank you for your comment, yes, it's not supposed to rhyme, and I probably should have noted that w.. read more
Good job. The way the words are presented reminds me of someone taking gasps of air just to expel each few words. I especially like this line:
"and live
for a few hours
and transform
to someone
who is fine"

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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230 Views
2 Reviews
Added on September 28, 2015
Last Updated on September 28, 2015
Tags: drug, heroine, addict, poem, poetry, try