The Silent Night Before Christmas

When Rodney's wife dies, all him and his daughter can do is reminisce about her memories and spirit on a Christmas Eve night.

Rodney sat on the couch gazing at the tamed blazing fire in front of him. The fire was the only light in the room and everything else was covered in the midnight darkness. He had finally been able to get a period of meditation into his schedule to focus on his own problems without being interrupted by his obnoxious family. He didn’t think he could handle anymore of his sisters’ constant griping and fighting. Personally he felt that there were more important problems in life other than sibling squabbles. For example; tomorrow was going to be him and his daughter’s first Christmas without his wife, Jaleesa and no matter how hard he tried to fill his mind with more cheerful things, he knew the problem would eventually come to haunt him just as it was now.

 

He chewed on his nails in silence as the only thing entering his ears were the popping flames of the fire and the radio playing O’ Holy Night sung by Nat King Cole. He closed his eyes and let the soft music flow into his ears as he reminisced about his wife.

 

His mind drifted to the previous Christmases when he would stay up late on Christmas Eve wrapping presents for the family while she stayed busy in the kitchen as the fumes of dessert swarmed in the air. Different pies of sort would distract him from what he was doing and he would eventually end up standing behind her as she fixed her succulent sweet potato pie. But as of right now the kitchen was vacant. The sweet aroma of her food was gone, never to come back, after that fateful day, the day after Thanksgiving.

 

It was hard to realize that there would never be another present under the tree that read ‘To or From Jaleesa’ on the tag, or a person to turn over in their bed onthe holida ymorning and wish them a Merry Christmas.

 

Suddenly, breaking his silence, he heard soft creaking footsteps coming from the stairs. Shooting his eyes open, he quickly turned around to find a small figurine standing by the staircase, glaring in his direction.

 

“Daddy” the silhouette faintly called as it stepped into the glow of the fire. It was his daughter Courtney.

 

“Courtney…” Rodney called in a voice a little above a whisper. Courtney continued to stare at her father before slowly walking to his side. Her face had tiresome written all over it as she stared at him tugging slightly on her ear.

 

“What you doing up so late?” he questioned. Courtney could sense the slight disappointment in his voice and refused to answer. Instead she shrugged her shoulders. Rodney continued to look at his daughter.

 

“Courtney… go back up to bed.” Rodney pleaded softly, but Courtney shook her head.

 

“I can’t sleep.” She whimpered now pulling on her pajama sleeve. Rodney rubbed his forehead and sighed heavily.

 

“You know the family’s coming over for Christmas tomorrow and you don’t wanna be tired.” Rodney replied. Courtney glanced down at the ground briefly before looking back up at her father.

 

“I don’t want Christmas to come.” She mumbled in an almost inaudible voice, and Rodney knew immediately why Courtney came down here. He gently grabbed her hand and glanced up at her sympathetically.

 

“Why?” he asked in a more gentle voice. She started rubbing her eyes and her breathing became choppier.

 

“It's not gon’ be the same without mama.” She replied though short gasps.

Rodney sighed at the reoccurring sight of Courtney mourning for her mother. He then gestured for her to cuddle in his arms. She buried herself into her father’s chest as her sobbing increased. Rodney grimaced at her weeping hardly able to take it. With every sniffle or every tear that fell down her face he felt himself get weaker. It was nearly impossible for a parent to watch their child suffer over a situation like this.

 

His eyes then started to sting, but he immediately and aggressively forced the thought of crying out of his mind. He had to be strong for her, if not for himself or anybody else. In a way Rodney didn’t know how painful this was for Courtney; going through her first Christmas without a mother at only seven years old. She didn’t deserve this.

 

“It’s okay sweetheart. Daddy’s here for you.” He whispered in her ear while patting her back ever so tenderly. He wiped his eyes. He had not imagined for his Christmas to be like this. Just a few months earlier, Christmas was something to look forward to; but now it was just nothing but another holiday that he was just glad to just have the day off work, or another day that brought him so many painful memories.

 

Courtney’s sobbing had died down but tears steadily started to stream down his face as Silent Night flowed peacefully through the house.

*I wrote this in memory of my loved ones that have passed away and for my friend that lost her mother earlier this year. Hope you have a good and Merry Christmas Gina. R.I.P Mrs. Jackie, Granddaddy, Grandpapa, Big Mama, and Aunt Linda*