Understanding and Education

Marilira and Raegir begin to talk.

Marilira hurriedly glanced behind her and watched the boy disappear in a crowd of people as the large man grabbed her wrist and pulled her the other way. Together, they made their way across from the Tree of Healing into a bustling marketplace. Marilira attempted to take in all the new people and shops that passed by her, but with the Leader walking fast, she had no time to take in the sights. Marilira half walked, half jogged to keep up with the tall leader, until finally they stopped in front of a tailor shop.

Curious, Marilira peered inside the window and noticed stacks of fabrics from linen to silk along the back wall of the shop. Half-made dresses, skirts, pants, and shirts strewn haphazardly along the wooden floor. She turned to Raegir as he said, “This is my most trusted tailor. He tailors all the uniform clothes for the soldiers in the Nys’ril Guard. He has promised me a full outfit already made for you.”

“You knew I was coming?” Marilira asked, somewhat confused.

“Yes, but I will say no more on the subject.” Raegir said vaguely, and opened the door of the shop. Marilira followed him, the sound of a small bell tinkling as she heard the door close. The shop was dingy and poorly lit. Again, fabric and half-made outfits scattered all over the floor. Stacks of fabrics lined the back wall from floor to ceiling.
Marilira carefully stepped over the mess on the floor and joined Raegir at a small counter. A bell sat on the table and presently Marilira reached over and rang it.

A loud bang came from behind the counter as a small elf popped up. Startled, Marilira took a step back and studied the shopkeeper in front of her. He graced a height of about four feet five inches. His hair, light brown, cropped short to his head. His eyes, green as emeralds, and a somewhat long nose. His mouth, drawn into a thin, tight line. He peered over to Marilira with a stern look in his eyes, before bowing to Raegir.

“Ah, Verduὶ, Leader Raegir! Sut naa lle?”

Raegir gave a polite incline of his head to the man, saying, “Amin naa tereva. Diola lle.”

Marilira stayed quiet, not wishing to ask what they were saying. She presumed they were speaking elven.

“Marilira, this is county tailor, Sellion. He is the one that designed you two pairs of clothes. One will be used for every day wear, and another for school.”

“I will be going to school?”

“Yes, as all elven children do in this county. Your education is your duty and one not taken lightly. You must do your utmost best. It is essential for your stay here.” Raegir stated in a matter of fact tone.

Marilira turned to Sellion and said, “Thank you for the clothes that you tailored for me. May I see them?” Her voice filled with a somewhat forced politeness. She did not like the way the man presented himself.

Marilira noticed a beckoning notion from Sellion, and getting an approval nod from Raegir, she followed the man to a small, back room. There was a single lamp in the room, and one wooden table. Marilira stayed in the doorway, as Sellion made his way to the table. Marilira noticed that his gaze lingered on the clothes neatly folded on the table. With knobby fingers, he picked up the clothes and handed them to Marilira.

“Sinome, edhel. Here, elf. They are the finest clothes I have made in a long time,” with that, he left Marilira standing there.

Perplexed, Marilira shrugged it off, and mentally filed a note to learn elven. She moved forward to the table and laid the two outfits out. One outfit consisted of a deep, blue blouse and trousers. The blouse had long sleeves that flared out at the elbows, the collar was scoop necked; dipping low toward her breasts but did not reveal anything. Tiny sapphires sprinkled over the material, making it shimmer, even in the dim light. The trousers were a midnight black, and hugged her hips snuggly. The bottom of the pants flared slightly, but wide enough to slip boots on over the pants.

Marilira assumed these were her school clothes, and looked at her other set of clothes, a plain, sleeveless, green dress that fell just above her knees. The neckline was v-shaped and reached just above her breasts. Marilira picked up the dress and dressed herself. The dress hugged her every curve and made out of the softest cotton. She found a pair of boots and a pair of sandals nestled in the corner. She put on the sandals, picked up the rest of the clothes, and walked out of the door towards Raegir and Sellion.

She noticed a scowl on Sellion’s face as he busied himself with putting fabrics away, but a fatherly smile on Raegir’s face. Marilira noticed that he was clapping as she walked toward him, placing the clothes in her hands on the table along with the boots.

“Sellion, lle ume quell! As always, your work is exceptional. Well done.” Raegir congratulated Sellion. A grunt escaped Sellion as he grudgingly tallied up the total cost on a piece of parchment. The scratch of a quill against the parchment was the only sound, as an awkward silence filled the space between the three elves.

“30 gold coins, Leader Raegir.” Sellion rasped out.

Marilira looked curiously as Raegir pulled out a velvet pouch and counted out 30 gold coins. He placed them on the counter and Sellion greedily snatched them up.

“Aa’ menealle nauva calen ar’ malta. May your ways be green and golden, Sellion.” Raegir cheerfully said and beckoned Marilira to him. Marilira snatched up her purchases and ran out the door after Raegir.

“You will need to remember that phrase, Marilira. That is the formal farewell for our county and it is deemed polite to say that to your elders.”

Nodding, Marilira soaked in the rest of the day, as Raegir showed her around Nys’ril pointing out significant buildings such as the bank, post office, and library. The sun was beginning to set and night quickly approached as her tour of the county ended.

Wondering where she was to stay now, or where to eat for that matter, she obediently followed Raegir into a small pub and sitting down in the back corner table. Raegir signaled for a waiter to come.

“Aaye! Leader Raegir, it is nice to see you again. Will it be the usual?”

“Mae govannen. No, tonight I would just like my elven wine, though bring out the house special for young Marilira here. She has just joined our community today.”

Marilira gave a small smile toward the waiter, and nodded in greeting toward him. The waiter scurried off to fulfill the order and Marilira was left to talk with the leader.

“Thank you, Leader Raegir, for today.”

“It has been an honor. Now, we must discuss your accommodations and your schooling. You will be staying in my own house, since you are new and I do not let my citizens be homeless. I will bring you to school tomorrow morning to begin your education. No time will be wasted.”

Marilira glanced downward to hide her nervousness. It was as though the leader was expecting her, and had decided everything for her beforehand.

“What kind of school is it?” Marilira asked.

“In the morning, you will join your fellow classmates with various lessons including the practice of magic, history of Nys’ril, and various branches of magic that will serve useful. Then, in the afternoon, you will begin to practice combat, and familiarize yourself with basic weapons.”

“Okay…” Marilira fumbled for the right words to say. She was starting to get overwhelmed with the information. Thankfully, the waiter returned and put a steaming plate of vegetables in front of her and a goblet of wine in front of Raegir.

Marilira, not realizing how hungry she was, began to devour the food in front of her. Soon after, the plate became clean and sleepiness began to take over Marilira’s body. She looked at Raegir, trying not to show her apprehension of tomorrow.

“Come; it is late, and you need some sleep.” Raegir stated in a soft voice.

Marilira got up and followed Raegir out of the pub. Night had fallen, giving an eerie and subtle darkness over the county. The pale glow of the lights hanging from the trees, barely shed light on the dirt road both elf and leader traveled on.

“Here we go.” Raegir finally said.

Though the night thickened her vision, Marilira could see the outline of an elegant house. She smiled and nodded toward Raegir. He guided her gently into his home. Quietly unlocking the door, Marilira followed Raegir through a giant archway entrance made of pure marble. The floor was made of wooden beams, carefully sanded, and placed together with the utmost care. Across the beams, a fur rug rested on top.

A woman bustled out of the nearby room and walked toward them. Marilira, already wary of new people, stepped to the side as Raegir gave her a gentle kiss.

“Addie, dear, this is Marilira. She came out of the Tree, today.”

Marilira tilted her head, and listened to the leader continue saying, “Marilira, this is my wife, Adelena.”

A faint smile passed on Marilira and noticed a mirror expression on Adelena. She was a petite woman, who, to Marilira, could have been quite a beauty in her day. Her skin was wrinkled slightly, her figure plump but worn. Her eyes held violet orbs, twinkling warmly in the lighted entranceway.

“Thank you for letting me stay with you,” Marilira walked over and shyly gave each a
hug.

“You are most welcome, child. Now it’s late, off to bed. Adelena will show you to your room. Sleep tight.” Raegir answered with a wide smile.

Marilira followed Adelena up flights of stairs. Up and up they climbed, flights of stairs spiraling upward. It seemed to take forever, but finally the two women arrived at the top of the stairs.

Pointing to the last room down the hallway, Adelena whispered, “Your room, Marilira, is down the hall. You will find everything you need on your bed. Quel du.” Marilira received a peck on the cheek and watched her disappear back down the flight of stairs.

Marilira walked down the narrow hallway toward her room. The wood floor beneath her feet creaked with each step, sending echoes up and down the hallway. Reaching the last room, Marilira drew a breath and pushed the door open. Gaping in wonder, she could not believe what she saw. The room was of oval shape. A small bed was in the far corner made of pure oak and cherry wood. Designs of fire, water, earth and wind were carved in the headboard and bed post. Soft quilts of the finest cotton covered the bed, with a small pillow embroidered with the elven language sitting propped up against the headboard.

Off to one side, an elegant, crescent shaped dresser had small stars carved deep in the wood. A small, rectangular mirror hung lopsidedly on the wall above the dresser. Deep on the other side was a small nook, giving into a protruding window and a pillowed bench. The window had no curtain and a soft moonlit glow entered the room, creating the room's main light source.

Marilira walked toward her bed and noticed a pile of clothes neatly folded. Smiling just a bit, she began to undress and wear the silky clothing. A lace nightgown hugged her body loosely, accentuating her hips. She climbed into bed and immediately fell into a deep sleep, butterflies tickling her stomach, awaiting her first full day on her own in Arkam’sul. Above her, she was not aware of another guest living in the house.

Author's Note

Translation Guide:

Verdui’ = Greetings

Sut naa lle = How are you.

Amin naa tereva. Diola lle = I am fine. Thank you.

Sinome, edhel = Here, elf

lle ume quell = You did well.

Aa’ menealle nauva calen ar’ malta = May your ways be green and golden

Aaye = Hail!

Mae govannen = Well met.

Quel du = Good night.

Reviews

[jasonaspraggins]

I'm at work, so I'm reading slowly today. I've only finished the first part of this chapter, which I really enjoyed!

Here are some nit-picky things:

He wondered who the voice belonged to, because (it) carried through the house like a sweet melody. Shinde's curiousity was growing by the second, and(he) decided to step out and see who it was.

He saw Adelena talk(ing) to the girl, looking no taller than five feet, she stood shyly next to Adelena.

Her skin, a light olive color that glowed like the sun. (incomplete sentence- needs a verb)



Tiptoeing back into his room, he went back to bed and silently waited to see if both women would come up (to) where the only other empty room was(-) the one next to his.


(As the) voices gr(e)w louder, he heard Adelena tell the girl where her room was.
(I wouldn't use "hearing" and "heard" that close together.

Hope that helps! :)

[jasonaspraggins]

His almond shaped eyes were slanted downward(,) and his lips were pressed thin.


I like the story you are telling, and you are doing a great job "fleshing" your characters out and making them seem real.
This chapter is really, really long though. I notice that you are incorporating your dialogue into your narrative paragraphs. That's perfectly fine. But I think I would let the dialogue stand alone at times, just to mix it up a bit.
I like your story, and I'm anxious to see where you are going :)

[jasonaspraggins]

Looking at the second part of the chapter now. Still at work, so I can only get to it a bit at a time. Here are a few more suggestions... :) I'm likin the story a lot!


Adelena made her way over, wiping her hands on her apron(,) and gave Marilira a hug.

Wandering through the property, she spotted the leader talking to(,)what (no "it) appeared to be(,) another student in a large courtyard.

A large, marble fountain loomed in the center, (and) elven archers (were) carved into the fountain. (W)ater gracefully shot out of the arrow(s), falling neatly in the basin below.

She didn't know her parents(,) and yet somehow(,) it led her here to this strange country.