"The Girl In The Park"

You  walk past her, but do you really know she's there.

 

She sits there alone with her nose in a book.

 

she's shy and doesn't mind that no one knows she's here.

 

No one knows she's a great cook.

 

she feels she can't give anything to the world .

 

In her head she thinks if or how she'll be remembered.

 

She thinks she can give being outgoing a whirl.

 

But she feels as cold as december.

 

No one knows her favorite band is ''New Found Glory''.

 

That she loves to write .

 

However , it's not her loss that you'll never know her story .

 

People say she's wrong for what she does and thinks but to her it just feels right.

Author's Note

My first poem so tips would be nice .

Reviews

[Walker Andreasen]

I enjoyed this! Just a quick "this-is-what-I-would-have-done", for flow's sake the last line I would have split in half:
"People say she's wrong for what she does and thinks,
But to her it just feels right."
In my opinion it would have made the poem flow a little more easily. But overall I loved it! Poetry from within and about ones self(I just assumed you wrote this about you. If you didn't I'm sorry if I... offended you) is usually the best kind (in my opinion). Good read! Keep it up! I plan on reading more!

[Kent Smotherman]

This is lovely - especially for a first poem! Your word choices are simple, direct, and clear making this piece very readable and relatable. I enjoyed this one very much. :) Keep writing, I look forward to reading more work from you!

Now some "tips": No spaces before punctuation like commas or periods.
line 5: The first "she" should be "She".
line 6: "remeber" should be "remember"
line 7: "thing" should be "thinks"
line 9: "new found glory" be "New Found Glory" if it is a band name (unless they do it in all lower case!)
line 11: "lost" should be "loss"

[AriaEmmaWilliams]

Thanks for the tips :)