Something Wrong

A short intro, keeping the story a secret so there isn't a vast amount of information. Think of it as a friendly warning

There is something seriously wrong with me, by which I do not mean I am just a bit strange or even that I am lacking something physically or mentally. There is just ‘something’ wrong with me. Something no one else seems to understand. Do you ever have one of those days? You know the ones I mean, where you just wake up one morning and feel like everything around you is pointless. Where everyone around you is meaningless. There is nothing particularly bad about this day but you feel like you just can’t face it again. Why should you, life brings nothing but pain and empty promises of a ‘happily ever after’ which never comes around. It is almost as if there is someone behind you, whispering hateful words and merciless threats. Shaking you to the core, making you feel lost and alone.  As if there is a thousand ton weight resting upon your chest, crushing you and leaving you gasping for air. Yet there is none to be found, so you find yourself suffocating, just lying there trapped and helpless. Feeling the world fade around you as you close your eyes and embrace whatever it is causing you to feel this way. Yes, one of those days.

 

I have found myself having those days more and more frequently, almost daily as of late. Despite all that I have said so far, I must point out that I am not depressed. Nor have I ever suffered from depression. When those thoughts pop inside my mind I do not cry, nor do I frown. I smile. These thoughts make me happy, it amuses me. Even in the lowest points of my life I have still found a reason to laugh. I have even found myself smiling at funerals, to the wicked looks of everyone around me. Though it is not an act out of disrespect, nor ignorance. But simply out of joy. To look upon life and see nothing looking back at you but a rotting world and a broken system. To stare death in the eyes and watch how it stares right back at you, smiling from ear to ear. How could you not smile back? If one such as death can find happiness. Why shouldn’t we? Life is not the beginning and death is not the end. They are two halves of a greater whole and I will prove it to you. I will show you everything I have seen, everything i have fought for. How hideously corrupt, yet beautifully pure the world truly is. Then maybe, just maybe, someone else will see and understand what it is that is wrong with me. But until then old friend, i bid you farewell.

 

 

 

.Ari

Author's Note

First draft, more to come.