We're All Dying, Aren't We? (3)

After the Fall

It started as a mental exercise.
I wondered if an East-Side Jew like me
(Richard Rodgers, Brooklyn Dodgers,
Staten Ferry, Tom and Jerry,
Radio City, Walter Mitty,
Buddy Rich, Seven-Year Itch)
could sing the song of Stetson-wearing guys,
could capture something of the poetry
of men who have no words.
But then it grew, as all these projects do.
And then I fell in love with Norma-Jean
(no, Marilyn is someone else). I knew
I had to show the world what I had seen
of men who chase the herds.
(Levi jeans, chilli beans,
mustang culls, rodeo bulls,
Misfit Flats, lariats,
pony carts, engine parts,
happy hour, whiskey sour,
bronkin' bucks, pickup trucks,
buying beers, tying steers,
fancy boots, turkey shoots).
Sincerely? Dearly? Yes. I loved that woman -
the one inside, not on the billboard, pouting.
I cared so much, I guess I had it coming.
I was The Man, the one to take it out on.
A mustang in the dirt,
the more I squirmed, the tighter drew the ropes.
She ran to Gable. Primal passion? Rather,
the one thing that extinguished all my hopes:
he was, to her, the archetypal father.
Varieties of hurt
are infinite. The Pansy, Gable, Tusker -
all sorrowing for something. Norma-Jean
has kept her looks (can't say that for The Husker).
Inside, she putrefied. Love turns to mean,
it's ugly to behold.
The pills? The booze? Or was the problem me?
Or maybe everything just comes unravelled,
but some can hide it where the world won't see.
The consolation of philosophy?
The journey is itself the prize. I travelled
in the realms of gold.

 

Author's Note

(1) After the Fall: Arthur Miller, renowned playwright and husband of Marilyn Monroe, is speaking. “After the Fall” is borrowed from the title of Miller’s stage play, written three years after Monroe’s death, in which he attempted to analyse their relationship.
(2) Richard Rodgers, &c.: This cascade of rhyming associations represents Miller’s New York Jewish sense of self.
(3) men who have no words: During a brief sojourn in Nevada in 1956, Miller met some cowboy types, and wrote a short story about them. No doubt the fascination was their utter dissimilarity to himself. When he sought a project suitable for trying to win back Marilyn’s love, it was to “The Misfits” that he turned.
(4) Levi jeans, &c.: Unlike the other protagonists, Miller has eloquence. Here, his verbal dexterity creates a picture of cowboys who have outlived their day.
(5) Misfit Flats: The Nevada salt flats where the climax of the film was shot quickly became known as “Misfit Flats”, and have remained so.
(6) Bronkin Bucks: Was the term coined by Don McLean, for “American Pie”? It should be “Buckin Bronco”, but the former is easier to rhyme.
(7) The Pansy: Montgomery Clift referred to himself as a “pansy”, and here the suggestion is that it has been adopted as his on-set nickname. Similarly, “The Husker” is another Clift nickname (he was a native of Nebraska).
(8) The Consolation of Philosophy: Like the East Coast Jewish boy that he is, Miller retreats behind his learning. He is using the words literally, but also making a slanting reference to the literary masterpiece of Boethius (480-524 AD), the Roman statesman who wrote of calm acceptance of misfortune (like these characters, Boethius himself was already doomed).
(9) I travelled / in the realms of gold: Miller quotes Keats as a ringing affirmation of his life and career.