The Friend's Tale
His groin was mutilated -- did you know?
Please, try these pastries. Do. I love them so!
And how is London? It's my favourite city.
Are all the English journalists so pretty?
I'm sorry -- correspondent to the court
here in Vienna. You will have your sport.
Be patient, dear. You say I know your father?
First Secretary of State? I need him. Rather,
his daughter is the one who needs me, now.
You'll have the where and when, the why and how.
The Hope of Austria dies with his bawd.
You watch -- our talent will all flee abroad.
Of course, the Court will meet the blows and parry them --
the Habsburgs never fight their foes. They marry them.
The situation's grave, not serious, we say,
But this is lethal. This is End of Days.
She lashed out, is my theory, when he said
she was no longer welcome in his bed.
He fell asleep, she took his razor blade
and hacked about his privates. He, dismayed,
enraged, in pain, took up his gun and fired.
And in the watches of the night, alone,
he knew he'd lost his manhood - and his throne.
Your town house, did you say, is Berkeley Square?
Could you present me to your father there?