The War of Jenkins' Ear

[absurdly enough, a true story]

 

Four centuries ago this year

(believe me, for I’ve checked!)

Britain and Spain jointly adhered

to the Treaty of Utrecht.

 

They’d been at war so long before,

concerning -- of all things --

the British right, as Britain saw,

to choose the Spanish kings.

 

But more wars came, with curious names,

as often as the seasons.

But what was claimed?  Who was to blame?

We scarcely know the reasons.

 

In ‘thirty-one, Boca Raton

saw trouble reappear:

the brittle peace o’erran its lease,

and Jenkins lost his ear.

 

For Jenkins, Master, this disaster

befell him while afloat.

The Spanish fleet, on meet-and-greet,

boarded the British boat.

 

Of depredations (Latin nations)

the world has seen enough.

Suffice to say, swords were in play:

one cut his ear clean off.

 

Of privateers and buccaneers

we’ve heard, and Captain Morgan:

but not of Tom, thus parted from

his auditory organ.

 

Tom Jenkins went to Parliament,

with amputation: viz,

of Commons and Peers he had the ear

(and they, by George, had his!)

 

“It’s war!  It’s war!”  All voted “for”.

“The clearest insult ever!”

“We can’t have kith and kindred with

appendages so severed!”

 

From first to last, the canon blasts

rang out for ten long years.

Who knows the cost?  But many lost

a good deal more than ears.

 

So, blood ran high.  Men fought, and died.

Faced grapeshot.  Didn’t falter.

But who today can name that fray,

or guess at what it altered?

 

When will we learn?  When will we spurn

the razor and the cosh?

Or, decades hence, will violence

still spurt out, over tosh?

Author's Note

The War of Jenkins' Ear -- It really was a war, fought between Britain and Spain, in the early 18th century.
Boca Raton -- The War of Jenkins' Ear was provoked by an incident off the coast of Florida.
Tom Jenkins -- The British captain whose ear was cut off was actually named Robert Jenkins, but "Tom" suited my rhyme scheme much better! And yes, he took his severed ear to the British parliament.
by George! -- The king at the time was George II.