Before I'm another day older,
I'm gonna get shot in the shoulder.
In movies and shows,
the protagonist knows,
it's how to get Hilda and hold her.
From Gene Autry to Scully and Mulder,
the good guys aren't turned on by gold, or
political power:
come the end of the hour,
they want to get shot in the shoulder.
In Buffalo, Boise or Boulder,
each player, or stacker or folder
will promise you flat
if you wear a white hat,
you're gonna get shot in the shoulder.
The girl may be Gertrude or Golda:
you're ready to melt her and mold her?
The best thing to do
when the baddies ride through,
is get yourself shot in the shoulder.
There's no formula stricter or colder:
the eye of the movie beholder
requires of the star,
when he enters that bar,
that he has to get shot in the shoulder.
When I met Grace Kelly, I told her
(or let's say I gently cajoled her):
"if you're leaving at noon,
then I don't need a wound!"
But I bled. That's right, lead. In the shoulder!