Numb

I sit on the edge of my bed, though I feel like I'm sitting on the edge of existence. It's dim where I am. Wailing is pushing its way through the nearby wall. I dig my fingers into my ears so hard that it hurts. I pull my own hair. Nothing I do can relieve me of this pain that has suddenly consumed me. If I don't do something now there will be no return of the person I once was. 

It was so simple in retrospect. Turning off all emotions. One despairing thought and an immediate obedience from my body. I was as naive to believe only the pain would disappear. I soon found out that it was every emotion I had ever felt. I no longer felt anything. No excitement to try something new. No love for any person or animal. No sadness for tragedies. No guilt for wrongdoings. Nothing. That is the essence of emptiness.