Relapse

s**t happens, f**k it.

I run off to college with a fresh new start
No more connections, nothing is just a phone call away anymore
I can finally be clean
In a few days the terrible, terrible hurting will go away
In a few weeks the marks on my arms will fade
In a few months maybe even the urges will stop
The urges that keep me up at night
And make my bones ache
And my stomach churn
Until all I want to do is scream
But I can't make a sound
I can't move
I can't even breathe.
Withdrawal.

That was three months ago
And now I'm doing better than ever
90 days clean and feeling fine
But I go home tomorrow
And suddenly tomorrow is today
And I'm on a bus
And before I even know what's happening
My fingers are dialing that familiar number
I'm making plans
Routing out the same old meeting spot
My heart races
I begin to sweat
I don't even feel guilty
This is the only reason I want to come home

A little bit later in a bathroom stall
Trembling, I untie the baggie
Dump the contents into my little tin container
Heat it all up
Get my cotton, my needle
Ready her up
Ready myself
And with one small push of my thumb
My body is wrapped in that warm rush
The one I missed so much
I slump against the wall
Smile frozen on my face
If I died right now I'd be content
Right back to the old ways
Once a junkie, always a junkie
I'm an addict
I have a disease
I love my f*****g heroin.

Reviews

[paul]

stellar, brutal, simple HONEST writing. the TRUTH is always beautiful

[Roger Ferguson II]

while i dont like that last 2 lines, they fit the piece beautifully. the flow was excellent, the word choice great,m and the imagery awesome. really tells an honestest story.

[ms. barrie]

hauntingly honest. words shrouded in such poignant darkness. - brilliant work!

[Tai Ryens]

A haunting ending and a saddening story to go alone with it. The concept of it is very depressing and dark, but sadly true. The flow, positioning of words, and use of words could be altered a bit though, make it flow a little more smoothly by adding in some intricate terms.
Anyways, adequate job, if I do say so myself, better than the usual work I see posted on writers cafe. Keep it up!