Work

This is how I've been feeling lately

It's claustrophobic here at home
And there is no where else to go
So all I do is work and smoke
And work and smoke
And work and smoke

I'm only seventeen
I had hopes and I had dreams
But now reality is calling me

I'll work this job forever
Me and him will stay together

I'll pay off all my ticket debts
For drinking and shoplifting, theft,
Misdemeanors that made sense
I'm not feeling guilty yet

I'll run when I get caught
And hide from cops and from the law
And snowboard till it's dawn
Of every day till winters gone

I'll have my Sentra, '94
And drive around when I get bored

I'll have a little house or flat
I'm perfectly content with that

I'll stand on my porch and I'll watch the sun set
With mountains of snow and a cigarette

Just my little calming life
And everything will just feel right

This is how I want to live
To chill, and be, and just exist

No college, university
Could ever just do this for me

Why should I strive to be "the best"
When it's not in my best interest?

If every day is like a chore
Then what the f**k am I living for?

All I want to be is broke
And work and smoke
And work and smoke

Reviews

[Hannah Paige]

I absolutely LOVE this. You don't even know. For one, this is how i think, plain and simple. Everything you said here means a lot to me, and i think this is just an amazing message.

"All I want to be is broke
And work and smoke
And work and smoke"
That last stanza made my eyes widen and my heart beat a little faster. And what else does a writer strive for than to affect their reader like that

as for the literature itself, i love your style. The symmetry of the stanzas works perfectly and has a lingering effect.

Really, i wish i had written this.

[Dalebear]

Good write

[SilentDreamer]

I really enjoyed reading this. It flows so well and has a good point to it yet at the same time it gives off a sad feel. I suppose it's either happy or sad depending on your perception and how you look at things. In one way it's very happy because after all the writer is content with her life if it were lived like this. However the writer had dreams that were never acheived which makes you think they've given up hope. I can understand this. At times you just think, "Who cares? I don't need any of this. I don't need to stress for no reason when I could be happy so easily." Very relatable! So very well written, too. Love this.

[reminder]

The power and desperation of this piece. Your structure and choice of words are perfect. Well done !

[DamienHino]

Good job you have a topic and you stick to it and just keep adding to the imagery and settings of the scenario.

common questions of life but with your unique personality.

[YouoweYoupay]

I just loved this poem. SIMPLY LOVED IT. with all the emptiness and beautiful grey images painted in those cute rhymes. EXCELLENT POEM.

-Wella.

[Sasha]

the rhyme scheme is a bit mixed up, but as an overall it brings a new effect to the poem.
Great job.

[PaperDoll]

I like this. You have a very clear voice, and this poem seems to be a snapshot in the protagonist's life. It tells a lot about the person's life (I'm not sure if it's you?). My favourite lines are the first verse.
"It's claustrophobic here at home, And there is no where else to go, So all I do is work and smoke, And work and smoke, And work and smoke."
At first I thought the character of the poem was unhappy, but I don't think that's it, as the last verse states that everything is as he/she wants it. It reads of no regrets and not conforming. Kudos. :)

[Roger Ferguson II]

this sounds as if it could be a song, one or two stanzas seemed a bit off but overall its very well writen

[Elwina]

I like it. The flow is nice. We sometimes have simple wishes, but the world tends to expect something more. Also, sometimes we chose things only to piss some people off.
You painted the situation lovely, with a hint of humor, resignation and sarcasm here and there, which makes it all the more complex and realistic.