Coffee Mixed Perfume

All he can do is hand over that magazine.

She came each day, bought the same magazine, with the same cup of coffee. He knew because he could smell it, mixed in with her perfume as she leant to take her change. She wouldn’t even glance at him, instead at the headlines of the latest break-up. He would smile at her, which would then turn to a saddened gaze as he watched her pencil-skirt walk away. He could imagine her heels clicking long after she turned the corner. She always came at the same time. 7:43 exactly. And the one time she didn’t, she didn’t come at all.

He looked as far as his eyes could reach, yearning to smell that coffee mixed perfume. But as he closed the shutters of his little stall, he knew that she wasn’t coming that day.

She appeared the next morning though, at 7:43. He smiled extra as he saw her approach. And it was that, which spurred him to speak to her.

“Didn’t get your magazine yesterday, almost made me broke.” He joked.

But she only raised her eyebrows to acknowledge him and walked away.

The next day, he gave her the wrong change, to see if she’d notice. But she didn’t, and he was forced to call out to her. She only took it with another raised eyebrow.

He spent the day contemplating, trying to find a way for her to notice him. Yet he would always stare into the adjacent window, and eye the reflection bouncing back. A balding head, short stubby legs that matched the rest of him. The only thing he couldn’t see was the eyes. The eyes that he was sure would captivate the woman’s interest. If only she would look.

So each day he would try and hold her attention as he passed the changed to her hand. A few times he’d attempt to engage her. Commenting on the weather, asking how she was, pointing out the latest marriage. But she’d only just raise her eyebrows in acknowledgement, and walk away.

Then one day, she didn’t appear in the morning. He began to doubt she ever would as the day wore on, but at lunchtime she appeared. Just like in the mornings, heels clicking, the cup of coffee the same.

“Can’t miss out on the finest news?” He laughed a little as he said that.

She didn’t raise her eyebrows though. “Why do you talk to me?” Her voice was covered in a harsh sweetness, one that she could not hide even in anger.

“I thought it might be nice.”

“Well, it’s not. All I want to do is come and buy my magazine. I don’t like small talk.” And she looked straight at him, right into his eyes. He knew her eyes were gazing at his, and he could nothing but gaze at hers. Then she broke the gaze and turned away, her heels clicking.

She didn’t come the next morning, nor the day after. A week passed until she came again, heels clicking, coffee in hand. A different man stood at the counter. She asked where the other man was. Something about too many sleeping pills.

 

Author's Note

522 words this be.

Reviews

[Zoe Kaufhold]

This is a really really good story, It had a lot of meaning and the ending was very sad and something that a lot of us can relate to, feeling wise. It was in all a really good story.

[Jessica]

Wow, this is great! I love the way you "show" your characters and story rather than simply "tell" it. Great ending (from a writers point of view of course)-poignant is the best word I can think of. Great job!

[C. Rose]

Well penned. I enjoyed this succinct and smart story.

"and he could nothing but gaze" should be "and he could (do) nothing but gaze"

[WestWriter]

What I love the most about this piece is the character development that takes place naturally. From the very beginning, the narrator is clearly taken with the woman in the pencil skirt. So much so that, as the story goes on, his happiness is dependent upon her arrival. The sad end is the opposite of what I'd hoped for, but exactly what I expected. So often, life is just so. For character development, emotional impact, conflict resolution and a solid end, with a bit of editing, Coffee Mixed Perfume is easily a 5-Star Flash. Well done!

[Marie]

Very good...short, simple and with a break-away ending.

[Tegon Maus]

This was very good... sad mind you, but very good. Nice visuals a little twist in the end. I'm very proud for you.

[paparapapa]

This is seriously good. The title caught my attention, and when I started reading it, I couldn't stop. The way you wrote it was really captivating. Great job! Will be looking forward to reading more stuff from you. :)

[Manda]

I have a very special place in my heart for coffee and tragedies, so this particular story put a smile on my face. I liked your pace, I must say. You made the story move along at a pace that was enjoyable, for I have read my share of ones that took forever to get to the turning point. I also like your characters. Excellent work.

[Sophie]

This is sooo good! I really enjoyed it! And the last line is perfect. Wow :)

[Alana McGuire]

I enjoyed this a lot! You have a good way of describing the situation and the scents and what's going on exactly. The way you write is captivating to readers and draws them in.
Aww, she really was interested in him. Too bad she was to late.