His Love Story

A guy tells his love story to a friend, but it's not that simple.

His breath always smelt like peppermints. When I meet him one day, I was overpowered by the stench. I thought he smoked and had to cover the evidence. But then he told me that it was because his girlfriend smoked, so he had to cover that up. There was a girlfriend.

 

‘It started with you, he’d always say. You introduced us, that day when I bumped into you both.’

It was like the love was already in his eyes that day.

‘You asked if I wanted to join you, remember, you were going to that café that sold those muffins, a real ripper those were. And I said yes, I mean, why not, all I was going to do was go home and mope about on the coach. And the next time I saw her, that wasn’t too good a day was it? Maybe I should’ve called before I came round and found her in your arms. But you know what the worst thing was? If I had known she was going out with Mike, I could’ve warned her what a jerk he was. She may not have believed me, but still, I could’ve said something. To this day I wonder why she wanted me to stay instead of shove off.’

She always trusted strangers more than friends.

‘You weren’t her friend though, you were sisters. How could we know each other so long, and you never introduce me to your twin.”

You never asked. She had heard of you, she knew she could trust you.

‘I guess that means you could trust me. We meet after that when you weren’t there. Fancy the people you bump into. She had a broken wristwatch, and was trying to get it fixed. But it cost a bucket load. Wasn’t the watch your mothers? She really loved it, but it had broken a few days before.’

Mum wore it the day she…

‘Written to her in the will. It was a beautiful watch, I felt pity for her. A week later I popped by and she was there, you were running late. We got chatting. She was so different from you, personality I mean, but there was this hint. Your eyes, that’s what it was. Your eyes are exactly the same. Sunflower eyes.’

Eyes are appearance not personality.

‘No eyes are personality. You can tell a person’s heart by looking at their eyes.’

We had the same heart?

‘She had yours. Big, kind, beautiful.’ The biggest sigh always came then, and he’d look at me and laugh. You probably don’t care about any of this do you? You just think is sappy and you’ve heard it all before?’

No. It’s a new story every time. And I was honest when I said that.

‘I asked you when I wanted to ask her out. I felt that I wasn’t right unless you were okay with it. She was your sister I guess. It would’ve been betraying you if I had just asked her. And it’s not like it could be hidden. But you seemed totally okay with it, and so I shot her a buzz and we were soon on our first date. Anyway, the date started with a hug that went too far. You were standing in the doorway for that. Remember my awkward expression? It was the first sappy romance movie I ever saw. Unfortunately not the last.’

She could convince you to see one but I never could. Must’ve wanted something from her.

‘I wanted so much from her. I needed her, and she was always there. I was scared that she’d run off with some guy from Albania. Lucky I knew no Albanians. I trusted her though, I trusted that she would never break my heart like that. But you never know. I’d come to you for advice.’

All the time.

‘You knew her the best. You knew whether she liked ketchup or tomato sauce.’

They’re the same thing.

‘But you knew which one she preferred. And I would do as you said. You could’ve ruined it at any moment, but I was sure you wouldn’t be so mean. You were never like that. It was your heart. And so the days past, and then it had been a year. That broken wristwatch still hadn’t been fixed. So I stole it from her table, and got it fixed. I had been planning, I had to save up you know. The smile on her face, it was magnificent. It rose to her eyes, travelled across her whole body. Just in that one gleeful smile.’

She never took that watch off.

‘And the days kept on passing. It’s been ten years now. Ten years since I first met your sister. She started smoking, I started buying peppermints. So many things changed. And every moment with her was wonderful.’

Why haven’t you married her yet?

‘Because I never wanted to marry her.’

Instead you wanted to break her heart. Will you do it with tomato sauce, or ketchup?

‘There was always another love in my life, someone who I wanted to please more than her.’

Why didn’t you do that then?

‘Because she didn’t love me back.’

So you were with someone you didn’t love.

‘I did love her though. I loved her more than I could ever imagine. There was just someone I loved more.’

Who was it?

‘You.’

And yet you were with my sister for ten years.

‘The only reason I ever loved her, was because she was just like you.’

You said we were different.

‘She has your heart.’

You looked at her and there was so much love in your eyes.

‘Love for you.’

If you love me, you’ll do something for me.

‘You know I’ll do anything.’

Marry my sister.

‘I want to marry you.’

Do it for me.

‘I’ll do anything for you.’

Then you’ll marry her.

 

To this day his breath still smells like peppermints. My sister still wears that wristwatch, even though it broke again long ago. He still tells me that same story. With the first date that started with a hug that went too far. He still loves me, and he’s yet to marry her. And it will always be that way, because sometimes, the difference between people is ketchup and tomato sauce.   

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[M.D Leon]

well the build up to the last paragraph is quite good, though i found myself lost on the middle. I did't like a couple of the analogies but that's not on you that's just simply a personal preference of mine other than those two small things it is an otherwise well written piece.

[Jamie Raintree]

I think you have something really good here. Unfortunately, I had a hard time getting into the scene. At the first scene break, I wasn't sure who the characters were which made the conversation hard to follow, so I was pretty lost after that. Getting back to the final scene, though, you tie it back together in the way I love the most. I think if you can clarify the main scene and add some more descriptive detail, this will be a great story.