Mumpsimus

Just a silly little thing

“Mumpsimus!”

“What?!” The person cried as a small dwarf came running through the street.

“It’s Rumplestiltskins, it’s mumpsimus.”

The tall person was terribly confused, as was everyone else that had begun to line to street to watch the spectacle. It was the third spectacle this week, with a stray elephant deciding the local fountain was a good place for a bath and an elderly lady deciding she wanted to join the elephant for a rumpus.

“Mumpsimus!”

“Do you know where it’s coming from?” The people whispered to each other.

There was the small dwarf, but his mouth did not move an inch and people had been sure to look closely at that. Alas the sound was coming from somewhere else.

“Where’s the mumpsimus?” Someone had managed to catch the dwarf, for dwarves are very easy things to catch, especially when they are distressed.

“Where?” The little man squeaked. “You’re asking where?! You should be asking what?”

“What is it?” A little girl, who was terribly perceptive and quick to react asked him.

“It’s Rumplestiltskins, it’s mumpsimus.” And he escaped the catch of the man and toddled off again shouting at anyone who looked at him.

“Oh dear my,” said a rather dignified lady and she fainted quite right there on the street.

It was then that a strange man came forward. He looked rather like a dwarf, except more the size of a little boy than a little man and with a much thinner frame.

“I am Rumplestiltskin,” he declared loudly, and everyone hushed around him. “And let me tell you about the mumpsimus.”

And so he did, bold and wide, declaring its fame, its glory and its power. Ah the tale of the mumpsimus, that magical, fantastical thing. When he had finished the people stood in awe around him.

The little girl, the perceptive one though, came forward.

“Why my dear Rumplestiltskin’s isn’t mumpsimus just a backwards spelling of sumispmum and we all know that’s a very delicious cake.”

And so just like that, the awe had disappeared from the people as they realised quite unwittingly that mumpsimus was not a spectacular creation but just an upside down tart.