A Brother's Hold

About a choice

It was always known I was going to die. At birth I outlived the odds, and it had only gotten worse. When you know the chance you’ll live to eighteen is almost none, there’s a difference in the air when people talk of their future. I always said I didn’t know what I would do after school, I didn’t tell them I hoped to live. Sometimes I’d tell people of what’s happened in my life. They look at me, with a sad expression, I always wonder if they mean it. “You must really appreciate life then,” they say.

I look at them just as they look at me. “No, not really.”

“Oh.” It’s in their tone, I didn’t give them the answer they expected.

“Do you appreciate life?” So why should I?

When I was nine a friend of my parents died. I asked my brother how long they would be sad for. He knew everything my brother, even though he was just three years older.

“Well it depends if it’s a really close friend,” he had replied.

“I don’t know.”

“If it’s a really close friend they’ll be sad for two years. One year to cry, and one more to dry their tears.”

Two years later I felt glad that my parents could be happy now.

When I was fifteen I told my brother I was afraid to die. In everything, every appointment, every operation, my brother was there with me. Death was the one thing where he couldn’t be.

“Don’t worry sis, don’t be scared.”

“But I am.”

“Just don’t make your last moments bad. Think about the good times instead. Think about how much we love you.” I could see in his voice, there was already sadness there. Yet I had not known what it was for.

Three days later my brother died. He didn’t leave a note for my parents, not for his friends, no one else, just a few words for me.

When you die I’ll be there

In everything my brother had been with me, in everything my brother would be with me.

One year passed to cry. Another went to dry the tears. I could be happy again.

It was then that I was called to the doctor’s office.

“We have some news,” he said, smiling without waver. “A new treatment had been formulated, and whilst it’s still under slight investigation, it could be your cure.”

My parents smiled, gave me a hug.

“So would you like to undertake it?” The doctor asked.
“Of course,” my parents clapped.

“No,” I said.

They asked me, questioned me, interrogated me. I lied, told them I was scared, it probably wouldn’t work, anything but what I knew. I didn’t know how I could tell them my brother was waiting for me, that I had to go.

“Don’t worry honey, it will be okay, it won’t do anything bad, it can only help.”

“I’m not doing it.”

They couldn’t change my mind.

I was seventeen when I was admitted to the hospital for the last time. I was not scared, I was not afraid. Right there, I knew my brother was with me. I had had one year of crying and one of drying my tears. Now all that was left was happiness.

When you die I’ll be there

And he was.

 

Reviews

[Kreative Kana]

Wow...So sad and touching. :( Great story.

[Kousika]

Great story dear.. Made me stunned when I read the whole story..

[Yerania Echeverria]

WOW i love your story, i don't know if you wrote this from personal experience, but i can say you make me cry. i love the twist and everything about it. i'm a believer that things happened for a reason and the part when the girl saw her brother and she knew he was waiting for her i loved the end. great job

[DaughterNature]

This is interesting, I am unsure if this has any basis in your personal life. As someone who has lost a father at a very young age, I dislike the idea of "being happy again" after two years -- you cry, dry your tears, and smile all within the first year, but the feeling of loss will hit you 12 years later and feel just as strong as the morning after. I do like the twist about the brother -- I assume suicide -- and the care it shows for his sister, but it's also sad to think he would rather die for her than live for her. Finally, a note about the narrative voice: it feels a little scattered. Maybe rethink how your speaker would talk at 17 and having lived while staring death in the face? Consider the book "The Lovely Bones."

[Prime]

Amazing, and moving Archia! You did a good job on this! :D

[QuietlyCrash]

I honestly am at a loss for words. This is so moving and so heartbreaking, that I can't even begin to think of where you drew this kind of emotion from. Halfway through I kid you not, I had to stop for a moment to breathe because your writing had gotten to me that much. This was absolutely wonderful and I wish you all the best in whatever you do.
Best wishes,
Riley

[TurtleClark]

not many things make me want to cry but this is one of them

[AK]

Wow, Archia! This piece is absolutely wonderful! I love the theme and the way you conveyed such a powerful piece in such a mild and heart melting way (though many people said it was chilling, I personally didn't feel the 'chills'; I've been too obsessed with horror stories lately to get chills for it, lol)
I love your writing style. Though written in first person, you have still paved way for a piece without too many 'I's and 'me's and have a wonderful choice of words inculcated into it.
I loved the title! Brother's Hold reminds me of a book I read called the Viking's Hold which was itself powerful, hence setting the atmosphere for this story.
I commend this endeavour of yours. Great write, keep writings!

[Lemunculus]

This is beautiful, the dialogue seems very genuine and emotional and it makes you want to get up and do something while you can. I don't really know what else to say about it, it moved me honestly and I loved it.