Ashes on a Cloud

Borne by the worries of perennial shroud,
Drifted up visions of ashes on a cloud,
As charred effervescence of cognitive strain,
Preparing for the downpour of turbid rain.

I searched in the air for a potion to clear,
The floating attachments gloomy yet so dear,
Sifting through the shades to let the self attune,
To the conjured up weather's mysterious rune.

As if to pass decree on the senses earth-bound,
Hovered leaden layers of ashes on a cloud,
To either cast dreary veils of withering death,
Or lay disguised blessing to redeem each tense breath.

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

Stunning images of ashes on a cloud, very metaphoric; and it does show us that there are some mournful tunes to this piece..."to either cast dreary tales of withering death...." seems like you're in a place waning away between life and death... nicely written

[Archishman Rick]

Many thank yous for presenting this piece with such praise. Very glad that you appreciate the metaphoric vibes.
Cheers.

[emmajoygreen]

Your thoughts seem to have flown away and laid with deep thoughts in this poem - as if trying to catch up with self. Perhaps?? Tis strange how searching for one's own feelings are a way of drawing a conclusion. Have you, did you?

[Archishman Rick]

Greatly appreciate your visit here and your appraisal. To answer your question, I haven't quite drawn a conclusion yet, perhaps not in this lifetime, since the search is boundless.
Cheers

[Soren]

Such lusciously worded phrases and a wonderful image of ashes on a cloud. The message is so wistful and evocative of mournfulness. This is a wonderful piece.

[Archishman Rick]

Thank you truly for your amazing words my friend. Means a lot.
Cheers.

[Ken Simm.]

What a use of words, description and metaphor. My hat would be off to you but I would get wet.

[Archishman Rick]

Haha, it's alright sir, better to not take it off than to get wet. Many thanks for the praise and visit.

[Neville]

everything clearly falls darn near perfect upon what would otherwise be, just another empty page .. I very much enjoyed my visit my Friend .. Neville

[Archishman Rick]

Many thanks for your deep meaningful words, dear friend. And I really enjoyed your visit.

[Neville]

my absolute pleasure .. Neville

[willweb]

Nicely crafted rhyme and theme here. I enjoyed how the poem moved though, a few speed bumps were encountered, but nothing that detracted from the art you have posted. Well done.

[Archishman Rick]

Many thanks, Willweb, for the visit and leaving your honest praise and critique. This poem was the result of an endeavour to imaginatively manifest the strenuous, anxious and also hopeful moments of the mind in the form of an ominous and mystical weather.