The Trotting Pace

While being raised in the shed,

Its hoof would shine in the sun,

With burning hope it was bred,

As it was learning to run.

Trained in the instinct to dare,

Its gallop flared up the wind,

Its trainer's equestrian flair,

Was spurred for races to win.

Winning a bravely run race,

Incurred its trainer's demise,

Then it was bought in the taste,

Of merchants for hefty price.

Its trainer's fire burned hot,

Its hoof still shone in the sun,

But now with goods it would trot,

As it had learned from its run.

Author's Note

If we don't know our own pace, we might drop what is dear. If we don't know our own strength, we might damage what we love.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Good job on rhyme, rhythm, & clarity of message. I'm not sure I like the use of the pronoun "it" thru-out. On one hand, it de-personalizes the horse, but on the other hand, maybe the intent is to make the horse come across as a possession with no singularity. This seems to be more about the human, even tho most of the lines express something about the horse's actions, which kinda makes me not like the overtones of your message, as if humans are supreme whereas horses are auxilliary objects, even tho this depicts reality for horse-racing trends (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Archishman Rick]

I appreciate your honest and comprehensive critique, Ms. Margie. This poem, as you discerned, is set on a realistic forefront, where the horse is indeed a 'human possession' so to speak, but is far from an 'auxiliary object'. Both the trainer and the horse can be seen as objects here, both of whom have been depicted as fervent instruments of hard work, utilitizing their camaraderie and flair to gain achievement. In the end one survived, which was the horse obviously, having the armour of plot heh, while the other died. Because they erred in controlling their pace. My use of "it" throughout was never to depersonalize the horse, it was simply to imply unbound gender notion. As "they" would sound, well, awkward. Although both the human and the horse share the poem's focus, it documents the journey of the latter, who has realized the trotting pace, as the human's fervent spirit lives on.
Regards. :)

[barleygirl]

Thank you for clarifying.

[Archishman Rick]

No problem

[Mr. Malarkey]

I really appreciate the deeper meaning behind your words. In a way, we can become our own worst enemies if we fail to understand our own potential. Thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed this

[Archishman Rick]

Thank you so much for your great review, Mr. Malarkey! I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. While potential can be kept on cultivating, we should try to be aware of its scope and take care applying it.
Regards.

[AJNJ]

We must be careful with our own strengths and abilities. They can be great allies and potent foes too. The power within must be unleashed thoughtfully and judiciously. You made a great point here, my friend! Pen on!

[Archishman Rick]

Absolutely agreed sir. Big thanks man!

[AJNJ]

You're welcome! Pen on! 🤗

[Chris Shaw]

There definitely appears to be a moral in this poem, which incidentally is well penned. Steady pace appears better to avoid burn out or similar consequences.

Chris

[Archishman Rick]

Indeed I agree. Thanks for the good words. Regards.