Identity Stays

Heaven's vault appeared clear,

Sparkling treasure to see,

Nothing was seemingly queer,

To gazing pirates at sea.

Heavens abrupt in their rage,

Took all the sparkle away,

The calmful ether did change,

But its identity stayed.

Sensing delusions on earth,

He had a lyrical run,

Intricate strings of his words

Were woven one after one.

His notions gathered outrage,

Perceptions cast him away,

His face in public did change,

But his identity stayed.

When fixated in your vision,

You can only mostly see

What you wish to see in motion,

In your pacing reverie.

When your reasonings engage,

You ask Truth what it says,

Although your answers do change,

Question's identity stays.

Author's Note

Emphasizes that identity of an aspect remains and cannot be destroyed or replaced by a new one, but is only moulded by perceptions and/or appearance along its path of existence.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is well-crafted rhyme & rhythm, particularly becuz of your use of interesting complex language & ideas. I'm not convinced this message takes me to an "Ah ha!" about the topic of identity. Maybe this is a bit more general than I would normally relate to. I agree with your general concepts & your poem is clearly expressed, but I just feel that a point like this is not fully served . . . it feels like a vague message, not a hard-hitting one. There's nothing wrong with this, I'm just more into saying such a thing in a more impactful way, a more distinct word picture to show what it looks like & feels like & comes across like, when one wears an identity in different ways. Still, your message is thought-provoking about some universal truths (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Archishman Rick]

Thank you for your nice and honest critique, Ms. Margie. While I acknowledge your points, I'll mention that in this poem, by identity I refer to the fact of being what something or someone innately, uniquely is, and not a name or label they wear. It is that fact that stays, which I have tried to imply here. Regards, wish you a good one.

[barleygirl]

I think I realized how you mean to use "identity" but I just didn't feel you supplied us with a tangible depiction of what that might be like. You say identity "sticks" -- but I found myself wanting you to SHOW me that, instead of telling me that.

[Archishman Rick]

Hmm, yes it does lack the showing part. However, you see, Ms. Margie, this piece, in defending its title 'Identity Stays' is symbolic rather than literally showing of its validity. It's been intended for the reader to discern it through the flow of words used and how they logically relate to the examples of focal elements used in each of the 3 stanzas. Hope that made sense.

[Kari Rakitan]

This reminds me of why I put together a pen name so many years ago. I had to have an outlet to express myself freely, without fear of repercussions from employers and other people I relied on financially.

[Archishman Rick]

I empathize with your experience. Appreciate the nice review. In my opinion, no matter what we may claim to identify as, as individuals, our perceived identities are often underperceived,cryptic and illusory.. Is Kari Rakitan the pen name from then? Will be a pleasure reading you too :)

[Kari Rakitan]

Thanky! Yes, I've had this pen name for over ten years now, though I'm new to this particular platform.

[NotUsinganymore]

Very nice poem. Sort of reminds me of brainwashed people who are too obsessed.

[Archishman Rick]

Thank you sir. It does indeed point at that yes.